Tuesday, August 25, 2026

The Restoration of Albert II

By Kevin D. Williamson

Monday, August 24, 2026

 

There is much to love about Monaco. It is the single most affluent country in the world, with the 38,087 very happy subjects of Prince Albert II enjoying a GDP per capita of damn near $300,000, more than twice that of rich little Switzerland and more than three times that of the United States, which is by far the most affluent country with a population much larger than that of greater Chicago. (But let’s not turn our noses up at rich countries with low headcounts such as Norway, Ireland, or Singapore—small can be beautiful.) There is no income tax in Monaco and the locals do not spend an inordinate amount of time fighting over politics—there is an elected parliament, but a good deal of the real power is wielded, generally lightly, by the monarch, and the ruling Grimaldi dynasty has been running the show down on that happy corner of the Riviera (with a few interruptions) since the late 13th century. Sure, you can walk from one end of the principality to the other in a half hour and could shove the whole thing into Central Park with room to spare, but there is more to the Monegasque economy than Champagne corkage and yacht moorage—there is even a small manufacturing sector producing cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and electronics. There is no poverty to speak of. Monaco does not worry about losing people or capital to tax havens, having discovered the best way to approach that problem: Be the tax haven.

 

There are downsides, I suppose: People sometimes drive like madmen, and the traffic can be awfully loud. Prince Albert probably hears a lot of jokes of the sort that make a man wince.

 

Albert II—Grace Kelly’s boy—went to Amherst, but it doesn’t seem to have ruined him, and he competed in the Winter Olympics, driving the bobsled. Being something of a traditionalist where monarchy is concerned, he naturally has a few illegitimate children running around, which had once complicated succession planning, but eventually he managed to produce an heir with a wife, and the 11-year-old Marquis of Baux is a handsome little fellow.

 

I do not have much to say about hereditary monarchy other than that it seems to me, a good republican, fundamentally ridiculous. What is not ridiculous is Monaco’s debt-to-GDP ratio, which is 0.00 percent—about that, I say, “Long live the House of Grimaldi!”

 

(Not “Long live the king!” The first prince of Monaco adopted the title back when styling himself a king might have annoyed Louis XIII of France, which would have been a problem.)

 

Donald Trump likes to think of himself as a kind of royal figure: He plays around with kingly imagery and rhetoric, and then there’s all that tacky gold leaf and the “What if we went back in time and didn’t outright murder baby Hitler but switched him in the cradle with Liberace, instead?” aesthetic, his attraction to the noble title “baron,” which provided the name both of his youngest son (with a double-r) and “John Barron,” the imaginary friend Trump invented to lie to the New York Post about his sex life. (Who among us ... ?) But the thing about being a monarch—a real monarch, not a figurehead—is this: You have to take responsibility for stuff.

 

***

 

“We inherited this debt bomb from the Biden administration,” J.D. Vance, vice president and knee-walking sycophant, insisted during an appearance on a Newsmax program where someone called Carl Higbie pretends to be a journalist. “American taxpayers are getting fleeced because of the very high debt charges … very high debt charges that started under the Biden administration. This is a crisis that we inherited. … The issue that we’ve had under the Biden administration and what we’re still kind of dealing with is that the debt was growing faster than American GDP.”

 

Mockery has followed, though neither Vance nor Higbie has been mocked quite as much as he deserves.

 

Vance, who apparently has a taste for inversion, gets it exactly upside down. The economy in fact grew more quickly than the debt did during Biden’s term in office: When Joe Biden entered office (Q1 2021), debt was 124 percent of GDP; when Biden left office (Q1 2025), debt was down to 121 percent of GDP. Joe Biden had more cause than Donald Trump has to make Vance’s kind of complaint about his successor: When Donald Trump first entered office (Q1 2017), debt was only 103 percent of GDP; by Q2 2020, debt was 133 percent of GDP, and while debt pressure eased somewhat in the COVID recovery, it was 124 percent of GDP when Trump left office. But even before the dramatic COVID spike, debt-to-GDP was headed the wrong way during the first Trump administration. And it is headed the wrong way now: Debt was 121 percent of GDP when Trump took office the second time around and is about 126 percent today according to the latest estimates. Some of those numbers can be blamed on COVID, but much of it is just the usual stupid spending and cowardly tax policy.

 

Vance’s argument is, of course, dishonest: This is J.D. Vance we are talking about—of course it is dishonest. Vance is a man without integrity who serves men who hold honesty and honor in contempt, and he is nothing if not servile when it comes to his masters. But Vance’s argument is also a stupid one, which maybe also should go without saying. American pundits’ and partisans’ favorite party game is pin-the-debt-on-the-president, but the power to collect taxes, appropriate spending, and borrow money belongs to Congress, not to the president. Republican members of Congress voted for a great deal of spending while Biden was president. They had voted for a great deal of spending, and for tax cuts, during the first Trump administration, too. And then Republicans put together a gigantic—and gigantically irresponsible—spending package in the so-called One Big Beautiful Bill, for which not one single solitary Democrat in Congress cast a vote. The Trump bill added as much as $4.7 trillion to the debt through spending, through tax cuts, and, according to analysts at the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget, by contributing to higher interest rates on U.S. government debt—i.e., it is one cause of those “very high debt changes” that Vance is caterwauling about.

 

The Democrats have been no great shakes when it comes to fiscal probity. But to try to pretend that our current fiscal situation—entitlement and discretionary spending, the tax code, interest rates—is the result of Democratic actions taken during the Biden administration is beyond dishonest. It is contemptuous. It is evidence that J.D. Vance believes, possibly with good reason, that the people he is pinning his own political hopes on are stupid—breathtakingly stupid, the sort of people who couldn’t find their own asses with both hands and a map and who think that a manila folder is a Filipino contortionist.

 

Oh, but don’t worry, Vance assures us. The Trump administration has … a plan!

 

“We actually do have a plan to get the economy growing faster than the debt,” he told Newsmax.

 

Well.

 

***

 

Albert II was a space monkey. He was a rhesus macaque and the first mammal to be launched into space. (Do not ask about poor Albert I, who is remembered only as the first mammal launched on a rocket. RIP, would-be space monkey.) Not to be confused with the reigning Monegasque monarch, Albert II died on June 14, 1949, having survived his trip to space but not the fall—from 83 miles—when his capsule’s parachute failed to open. (His heart and respiratory rates were being recorded until the moment of impact, so if you are wondering how fast a poor little monkey’s heart is beating as he falls out of the sky at a terminal velocity of 300 mph or so, the data are on record, somewhere.) Albert II experienced a few minutes of weightlessness, but, because his capsule had no window, he did not have the opportunity to observe the Earth from space or to see the stars blazing out there in the vasty deep, and, though I cannot quite get into a monkey’s head in spite of decades of interacting with politicians, I am confident saying that Albert II would not have understood what he was seeing if he could have seen it.

 

The space monkey does not fly the rocket—he is only along for the ride.

 

As Tom Wolfe tells the story in The Right Stuff, the early astronauts insisted that windows be added to the spacecraft—because, without a window, they wouldn’t be pilots: They would only be “spam in a can,” as one of them put it. They would be space monkeys—generators of heart rates and respiratory data, but, basically, meat. They were keenly aware that the capsule originally had been designed for monkeys. Every time I hear a politician or a pundit insist that they have a great plan to make the economy do x, y, or z, I think about Albert II. At least that space monkey went to space.

 

There are two ways to get the economy to grow faster than the national debt: One is a faster-growing economy, the other is a slower-growing debt. (An intelligent policy would pursue both.) Because the real-world economy is dynamic and not subject to simple bookkeeping metrics, there is some variability and unpredictability when it comes to reducing debt, but the basic formula, generally reliable over time, is: 1) Tax more 2) Spend less 3) Understand that the less you are willing to do of No. 1 the more you will have to do of No. 2, and vice versa.

 

Reducing deficits is politically difficult and economically complicated, but it is much more straightforward than achieving a radical increase in real (meaning inflation-adjusted) economic growth to such an extent that GDP growth makes deficit spending economically irrelevant. I have been having this fight with my friends the naïve supply-siders for many years. If there were a magic formula for getting a sustainable, big bump in real GDP growth, then we would be doing that—the incentives for supporting such a program, if it existed, would be entirely bipartisan. But the truth is, nobody knows how to make that kind of growth happen. You may have heard me rehearse my conversation with my old friend Larry Kudlow, who has for many years been a leading voice among those arguing that we can simply grow our way out of our fiscal problems. (Readers who have heard this before will forgive the repetition, I hope.) Kudlow believes that there are reliable policies for making that kind of growth happen: “I did it once, Kevin, and I can do it again,” he told me, while insisting that I, on the other hand, am an “eat-your-spinach guy.”

 

And so I’ll say it again: It’s time to eat your f---ing spinach, guys. Forty trillion dollars is a lot of schmundo.

 

Kudlow served in the Reagan administration and in the first Trump administration, and there was a good deal of good economic news during both periods. But there most certainly was not the kind of real GDP growth that enabled us to outrun our spending problems. The Trump numbers I have noted above; in the Reagan years debt went from 31 percent of GDP in Q1 1981 to 50 percent of GDP in Q1 1989. Real GDP growth ran about 3.6 percent during the Reagan years; debt went up faster because there was a larger decrease in tax collections (from 19.1 percent of GDP in 1981 to 17.8 percent of GDP in 1989, a cut of 1.3 percentage points) than decrease in spending (from 21.6 percent of GDP in 1981 to 20.5 percent in 1989, a cut of 1.1 percentage points). Hence, deficits went from 2.5 percent of GDP in 1981 to 2.7 percent of GDP in 1989, with some relatively big deficits in between (5.9 percent in 1983, 4.7 percent in 1984, 5 percent in 1985, and 4.9 percent in 1986).

 

The Trump administration may or may not have a deficit plan. It has been three weeks away from a healthcare plan for a decade now. But say it does have a plan: Albert II probably had a plan for flying that space capsule to the nearest banana plantation, but the space monkey does not fly the rocket—and the president does not steer the economy. That is not how modern economies work.

 

As it is, nearly 30 percent of all U.S. government debt is the result of Trump-era policies and legislation signed into law by one Donald J. Trump. Some planner. Some pilot.

 

Frankly, I’d be more inclined to trust a monkey—any monkey, really, even though as a former resident of Delhi I have had some hairy experiences with monkeys. At least a monkey is a straight shooter. The monkeys have not yet proved themselves incompetent as a group, and I never have been lied to by a monkey.

 

Americans cannot say as much for J.D. Vance or the ghastly organ grinder holding his leash as he holds out his sad little fez for tips. Trump thinks he is the kind of great man who can rule by royal decree, but he is just another monkey strapped to a rocket he does not understand and could not possibly control.

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