By Jonah Goldberg
Wednesday, June 03, 2026
Normally, I worry that events may overtake a column. But
not so with the Iran war.
I don’t worry about running afoul of a headline or Truth
Social post from the president because what is said about the situation is no
longer very relevant to the reality.
On April 8, Nick Catoggio, my Dispatch colleague,
dubbed an earlier stoppage with Iran “Schrödinger’s
ceasefire.” This was a reference to the famous thought experiment by the
physicist Erwin Schrödinger, who was trying to explain the weirdness of
“superpositionality” in quantum physics. A cat in a box is both dead and alive
at the same time until you open the box. Schrödinger meant to illustrate the
absurdity of the idea that particles aren’t any one thing, but a “cloud of probabilities.”
The Trump administration is stuck in a word cloud of
probabilities of Donald Trump’s own making. The war is over. The war is on. The
war isn’t a war. We have a deal, but we don’t have a deal, but we’re about to
have a deal. We destroyed Iran’s military. No, we left it intact. We want regime change. No, we don’t. We already accomplished it. We “obliterated” Iran’s nuclear program a year ago. We had to
go to war in February to prevent nuclear war. The Strait of Hormuz is open, closed, or something in between. No deal without “unconditional surrender.” Let’s make a deal!
This everything-all-at-once vibe can be disorienting,
particularly since most Americans didn’t have a war with Iran on their bingo
cards until the shooting had already started. Trump didn’t prepare the country
or consult with Congress beforehand because he thought it would all be a
smashing success in a matter of weeks.
The miscalculation that started it all: killing Iran’s
supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and much of Iran’s senior leadership on
the first day of the war. To “the great proud people of Iran, I say tonight
that the hour of your freedom is at hand,” Trump announced on February 28. “When we are finished, take over
your government. It will be yours to take. This will be probably your only
chance for generations.”
I support regime change in Iran and shed no tears for
Khamenei or his goons. But when you start a war by killing the regime’s top
leaders, it’s not unreasonable for the remaining ones to conclude that you
really intend regime change.
Khamenei was a murderous fanatic, but he was a fairly
cautious one. He liked to threaten closing the Strait of Hormuz or attacking
our regional allies, but he was reluctant to actually do it, fearing it would
invite a regime change war. The mullahs and IRGC goons believed, not
unreasonably, that if they lost their grip on power, they’d be lynched by the
Iranian people they’ve brutalized for decades.
By starting with a regime change war, Trump removed any
reason for the regime not to go for broke. When you have nothing to
lose—particularly when you are a millenarian religious fanatic—a Persian Alamo
strategy makes a lot of sense.
So Iran closed the Strait of Hormuz and attacked its
neighbors.
But it turns out this wasn’t the Alamo. In the contest of
wills, Trump blinked. The Iranian regime’s tolerance for punishment has
proved—so far—to be greater than Trump’s and that of our Gulf allies.
Militarily, we could finish the job, but that would require ground troops and
much greater economic turmoil. In a conflict Trump launched unilaterally
without the prior support of Congress, NATO, or the American people, Trump
doesn’t have the political capital for that.
But that’s only half the problem. Trump wants the war
over, but he doesn’t want to pay—militarily, economically, politically—what
that would cost. So he wants to make a deal that ends it. But there is no deal
available that wouldn’t come at an equally undesirable cost. Any deal that
looks like what President Obama struck with the Iranians would be too
embarrassing to bear. But the Iranians are convinced that they can get just
such a deal, and they’re willing to drag things out as long as it takes.
The result: Trump’s in a box of his own making. He thinks
he can talk his way out by simply asserting a reality that doesn’t exist. When
the financial markets get nervous, he announces a breakthrough that is, at
best, a possibility. When the Iranians agree to a deal that looks similar to
one Obama might negotiate, Trump goes back to his threats. Lather, rinse,
repeat.
It can’t go on forever. But I’m sure it’ll last until
long after this column is forgotten.
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