By Kevin D. Williamson
Monday, December 01, 2025
The Trump administration is always good for a curveball:
It put out a peace plan that was originally
written in Russian when I was expecting one that was originally written in
crayon.
Talk about “the
soft bigotry of low expectations”! You couldn’t see my expectations from
the third sub-basement of Challenger Deep right
about now.
“The matter is delicate,” Polish
Prime Minister Donald Tusk said of European engagement with the United
States on the Ukraine matter, “because nobody wants to discourage the Americans
and President Trump from ensuring that the United States remains on our side.”
What kind of wild-eyed optimist thinks President Trump is
on the Europeans’ side now? He sure as hell is not on the Ukrainians’
side.
More to the point: What kind of wild-eyed optimist thinks
President Trump is on the American side? The conspiracy-theory corner is
chock-full of amusing little notions about why it is that Donald Trump so
energetically and self-abasingly serves the interests of Vladimir Putin: sex
tapes of a nature as to embarrass even such a man as Trump, who has appeared in
no fewer than three pornographic films; dirt relating to his Slovenian-born
wife’s dodgy family or to his sons’ personal and financial shenanigans;
possibly some heavy off-the-books loans from state-controlled Russian banks or
the Russian mob. All fun parlor-game stuff, but, as far as I can tell, all of
the available hard evidence points toward my pet theory of the case, i.e. that
Donald Trump is a punk and a coward who, like most weaklings of his kind,
instinctively takes on the subordinate role in relationships with hard men such
as Putin. I enjoyed The Manchurian Candidate, but, in a sense, it does
not matter whether Donald Trump is some kind of a Russian asset under the
influence of kompromat—he would not be doing anything different if he
were.
Russia has launched a war of aggression against a
European democracy, and the president of the United States of America is on
Moscow’s side: All pretense and political window-dressing to one side, that’s
how it is. Trump means to give Putin what Putin wants. Fortunately for the
cause of the Free World, Donald Trump does not run U.S. foreign policy.
Unfortunately, some combination of Marco Rubio, J.D. Vance, Steve Witkoff, and
Jared Kushner does—freedom is in the greasy paws of a quadrumvirate of self-serving
grifters, phonies, cowards, and imbeciles.
(You guys know which is which.)
Someone connected to the Trump administration’s scheming,
possibly a Russian contact, leaked a 28-point plan for helping the Kremlin
achieve its near-term goals in Ukraine—do not call it a “peace plan,” except in
that it would mean requiescat in pace for Ukraine as a sovereign nation.
Not only does the document read as though it were originally written in
Russian, it seems to be the case that parts of it were literally
originally written in Russian, part of a Kremlin wish list. (NB: Christmas is
supposed to come late in Russia, not early.) The Trump administration has
since been on every conceivable side of the plan, which either is or is not its
opening bid, depending on where the big hand is on the clock when you ask.
Witkoff had been consulting with Putin advisers Yuri Ushakov and Kirill
Dmitriev, and it shows.
As the Wall
Street Journal reports, the 28-point plan was cooked up by Steve
Witkoff and Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law and go-to errand boy, following
secret meetings with a Russian collaborator in Miami. Marco Rubio, the
secretary of state, apparently had no idea what was going on until he read
about it in the newspaper. The proposal was “fleshed out in Miami over
cocktails,” according
to the Los Angeles Times, and, as every stripper and coke dealer in
south Florida knows, starting off with a good buzz in Miami always leads to
smart ideas. Rubio, after learning what these idiots were up to, engaged in
what the pundits like to call a “frenzy of diplomacy,” during which he
insisted—simultaneously—that the plan
was and
was not a U.S.-authored proposal. Rubio’s current plan, it seems, is to
be somewhere else when the diplomacy hits the fan, planning to skip out on
a NATO meeting where he had been expected. I hear Cuba is nice this time of
year. Or, at least, that was the consensus the last time I was dreaming up big
plans over cocktails in Miami.
What is Trump’s own position? Trump is a weathervane,
blown by the shifting winds in turn toward each of the four cardinal points on
the schmuck compass: Vance, Rubio, Witkoff, Kushner. Vance is the guy with the
clearest policy outlook: “I don't really care what happens to Ukraine one way
or another,” in his own words. Rubio has the clearest agenda: He thinks he can
be president in 2029 if he keeps the MAGA element on board while he tries to
remind people of what the Republican Party used to look like back when it was
just stupid and lazy instead of stupid, lazy, and morally corrupt. Witkoff is
the
guy who gets paid by the Trump administration to advise Putin while
snuffling around like a truffle-hunting hog for ways to enrich his family.
Kushner—the son of a felon pardoned by Trump and currently serving as U.S.
ambassador to France and Monaco—is a
Saudi-funded private-equity nepo-schmuck who swans around talking about the
grandly named “Abraham Accords,” a Middle East ... peace program or something
... that has been ratified by no major power in the Arab world other than the
United Arab Emirates, if you can call that air-conditioned authoritarian
shopping mall a major power. Kushner’s father-in-law thinks it was a big deal,
but, then, his father-in-law is an idiot.
Vance, Rubio, Witkoff, Kushner: This coalition of the
shilling produced a proposal that includes some ridiculous and indefensible
stuff, i.e., handing over to Putin a sprawling selection of Ukrainian territory
that the Russian army has, so far, not been able to win in battle in spite of
conducting a ruthless campaign of torture, murder, and rape. But incredible as
it is to write, that is not the worst part, at least from the point of view of
U.S. interests—which, as I keep trying to remind people, is the consideration
that should be guiding U.S. policy here.
The Trump proposal would formally obligate NATO to
abandon any thought of someday taking in Ukraine as a member. Further, it would
take NATO expansion off the board categorically. It would also forbid the
presence of NATO troops in Ukraine after the war to enforce the Russian promise
to forgo another brutal invasion and occupation of Ukraine. One way of looking
at that is that it gives Moscow a veto over Ukraine’s foreign policy—but that
is the wrong way to look at it: Much more to the point, the provision would
give Moscow a veto over American foreign policy.
NATO is an American-founded and American-led
organization—there is a reason the chief military commander in NATO is, and
always has been, an American military officer. NATO, led by the United States,
decides who will and will not join NATO. NATO, led by the United States, sets
the terms of its own defensive alliances and obligations. NATO, led by the
United States, decides for itself how to go about securing the collective
security of its members. To give that power to Moscow is to lop off the right
hand of American sovereignty and hand it to Putin with the left hand. It is an
act of sabotage. It is a direct attack on the sovereignty of the United
States—an attack being conducted not by the Russian president but by the
American one and by the gaggle of sycophants and chiselers that make up his
administration.
The Europeans were apparently entirely cut out of all
these developments—again. The Trump administration wanted to avoid the problem
of having “too many cooks,” according
to Daniel P. Driscoll, secretary of the army. I suppose the four who are
working on this particular stew are quite enough.
Vance, Rubio, Witkoff, Kushner: Of course U.S. policy
toward Russia is incoherent, corrupted by private financial interests, and
instinctively favorable toward the authoritarian regime rather than the
liberal-democratic one. Of course Donald Trump, who knows nothing and believes
nothing, is still playing the part of Lord
Feather-Pillow, always bearing the imprint of the last ass to have sat on
him. History gave Washington a rare opportunity, a free and clear shot at a
major national goal, when Putin marched into Ukraine without understanding that
it was a war he could not win at an acceptable cost. If the United States had
had halfway competent leadership under Trump or Biden—it is worth remembering
that Russia began (re-)escalating its aggression toward Ukraine in earnest in
2018, during the first Trump administration, with the Kerch
Strait incident—it could have laid Russia low in a matter of a few months
rather than diddle along with half-measures while permitting our rudderless
European allies to simultaneously shriek at Russian aggression and subsidize it
with their fuel purchases. Instead, we’ve got Vance, Rubio, Witkoff,
Kushner—the Mount Rushmore of schmucks—each trying to go his own way for his
own advantage while that doddering, senescent clown in the orange makeup
practices his Mussolini face in the Oval Office’s new gilt mirrors.