By Kevin D. Williamson
Monday, September 29, 2025
I am forbidden by the terms of my employment and by
professional ethics from giving paid advice to political candidates—but, for
pity’s sake: Could somebody, somewhere, teach Democrats how to talk about
trade?
Case in point: Rebecca Cooke, the Democrat challenging
Republican incumbent Derrick Van Orden in Wisconsin’s 3rd Congressional
District, wants to pick a fight with the Trump administration over trade
policy. Good idea: The Trump administration’s trade policy is a gigantic
slop bucket of amateurish buffoonery into which
congressional Republicans have dived headlong, and the district Cooke would
like to represent includes a bunch of soybean farmers who are getting
absolutely hosed—for the second time—by Donald Trump’s incompetence. Most
informed observers would likely agree that a team of monkeys who graduated at
the very bottom of their monkey community college class would probably produce
a more intelligent and coherent policy.
Small problem: Cooke doesn’t know a damned thing about
trade. Or at least that is the impression her campaign literature gives.
Cooke is running for the second time against Derrick Van
Orden, a Trump-stroking, self-abasing sycophant who was mixed
up in the “Stop the Steal!” nonsense, spends way too
much time on social media, and once tried
to pass through airport security with a loaded 9mm
automatic. Van Orden is a comical figure, one of those former Navy SEALS who
likes to remind people he was a SEAL every 11 minutes and who once played a SEAL character in a low-budget movie, “The story is fictional, but
the weapons and tactics are real.” He is a manly man’s man, who, in case
you may have forgotten, was once a SEAL, and who co-wrote a book (“book”)
titled A Book of Man: A Navy SEAL’s Guide to the Lost Art of Manhood.
Van Orden is a public servant who once had a
public meltdown at a public library, publicly berating a teenage girl
working there (he apparently has a thing
about flipping out at teenagers) in a rage-filled tantrum over a book
called A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo, a work of satirical fiction
that portrays the titular character, Mike Pence’s real-life pet rabbit, as gay.
(I am sure that Mike Pence is as straight as the flight path of a neutrino, but
if you told me with no context that you had an adult male friend with a pet
rabbit named “Marlon Bundo,” I’d assume a very serious interest in musical
theater at the very least.) Also, you may not know this, but Van Orden is a
former SEAL, albeit a SEAL who must have skipped the day in weapons-handling
class when they tell you not to stow a loaded sidearm in your carry-on and try
to get past the TSA clowns with it.
Van Orden, a former SEAL, is big
on tariffs—he’s big on knuckling under to whatever low-rent buffoonery
Trump demands of him, at whatever cost to Wisconsin farmers—and, as such,
free-traders would have no reason to lament his ejection from the national
legislature.
But the most important question in politics is—say it
with me!—“Compared to what?”
Cooke, Van Orden’s Democratic challenger, recently put
out a statement calling on the Trump administration to
“exempt soybeans from tariffs,” noting that Chinese purchases of U.S. soybeans
have collapsed from $12.4 million in 2024—and I’ll just go ahead and note here
that her press guy surely meant billion, not million—to
approximately squat so far this year. True, but not because of Trump
administration tariffs on Chinese soybean imports (which are a real thing,
incidentally—as with oil, the United States is both an exporter and importer of
soybeans) but because of Chinese sanctions on soybeans imported from the United
States. This isn’t a tit-for-tat soybean issue: Beijing has targeted
soybeans as part of its retaliation against U.S.
tariffs on Chinese exports more broadly and has been doing so off and on since
the first Trump administration.
We’ve been here before. In the course of the first
Trump-launched U.S.-China trade war, U.S. soybean producers once again took it
in the shorts while their Brazilian
competitors picked up the slack and profited handsomely. There are Chinese
tariffs on U.S. soybeans, but these are almost beside the point: One of the
things about running a ruthless police state is that the powers that be in
Beijing can simply decree that nobody is going to order U.S. soybeans for the
time being, and that’s that.
Traditionally, the Chinese had imported U.S. soybeans
after the Northern Hemisphere harvest and then Brazilian soybeans after the
Southern Hemisphere harvest. When Trump and his idiot trade team nuked
that market the last time around, the shot-callers in
China—where
they like to build stuff!—ordered the construction of new storage
facilities that would leave Chinese consumers (meat producers, mainly) less
dependent on U.S. soybeans. U.S. soybean producers had worked for decades to
build relationships that allowed them to thrive in the Chinese market, and they
suffered a permanent loss of their hard-won advantages, practically overnight,
because Donald Trump is a fool and Peter Navarro is a crackpot.
It isn’t just the Brazilians profiting from the
evisceration of U.S. soybean exports. Producers in Argentina are getting a
slice, too, for similar crop-schedule reasons, and U.S. soybean farmers are
particularly galled by the fact that Trump
recently announced a bailout of the Argentine
government amounting to tens of billions of dollars. Is that in the service of
some vital U.S. interest in Argentina? Of course not: It is simply a reflection
of the fact that Argentina’s populist president, Javier Milei, has gone out of
his way to suck up to Trump, and Trump is a fool for flattery. (A fool in
general, true, but a fool especially vulnerable to flattery.) From the
New York Times:
The American Soybean Association,
which has been lobbying for economic support for farmers, said that the
“frustration is overwhelming.” The group pointed out that Argentina just
lowered its export taxes so that it could sell even more soybeans to China,
further undercutting the U.S. farmers who face high Chinese tariffs.
“U.S. soybean prices are falling;
harvest is underway; and farmers read headlines not about securing a trade
agreement with China, but that the U.S. government is extending $20 billion in
economic support to Argentina,” said Caleb Ragland, the president of the
American Soybean Association.
To farmers like Mr. Ragland, a
bailout for Argentina, which is undercutting American soybean exports, feels
unfair.
Un-dumbing the U.S.-China trade relationship so that
soybean farmers can go back to serving their biggest export market may not be
possible. But if it is possible, it is not a matter of the Trump administration
ending tariffs on Chinese soybeans or somehow convincing the Chinese to end
tariffs on U.S. soybeans while the U.S. government continues to conduct a
broader trade war. The Chinese didn’t choose soybeans at random—they know how
to make a trade war hurt. If you want U.S. exporters to have access to the
Chinese market, you cannot get there by mucking around with soybean policy in
isolation—you have to clarify and stabilize the overall trade relationship,
which will necessarily include reducing U.S. barriers (tariffs, etc.) to
Chinese exports. If you want something from Beijing, you have to give Beijing
something Beijing wants, too: That’s how negotiation works. Our president,
however much he likes to pretend to be a world-class negotiator, is utterly
incompetent when it comes to that sort of thing.
But Cooke is not really making a case for a broader
tariff-reduction or trade-liberalization policy, vis-à-vis China or in general.
When I put the question to her press guy, the answer was ... unsatisfying.
“Rebecca Cooke wants to protect Wisconsin soybean farmers from further
financial pain by taking soybeans out of the trade war fight,” he told me. “The
onus is on Trump and Republicans to deliver relief.” That’s a piss-poor answer
for more than one reason: On the specific policy question, there isn’t any way
to simply carve soybeans out of the dispute: China’s position as a buyer of
U.S. soybean exports is not quite monopsony, but it
is big enough to inflict a lot of pain on a politically sensitive U.S. industry
that doesn’t have a very good next-best scenario. As a more general matter, it
makes me want to grow my hair out just enough to pull some out when somebody
who seeks to wield the awesome powers of Article I of the United States
Constitution acts like she’s signing up to be some helpless waif whose only job
is to whine about the president and his party and demand that somebody do
something.
Why in Hell does Rebecca Cooke want to be in Congress if
she thinks that the only people who can do something about U.S. trade policy
are Donald Trump and his supine yes-men in Congress? It is true that Democrats
are in the minority. It is also true that they wish to be in the majority,
presumably for the sake of trying to do something about this issue and others.
Why not be more frank and energetic about what they propose to do other than
moan about Republican incompetence—which, at this point, is like moaning about
mosquitoes at a Louisiana lakehouse in August: Nobody likes it, but it seems to
be the natural order of things.
Donald Trump may be the proximate cause of our trade
chaos, but the problem is, at heart, one created by Congress, which has ceded
too much power to the executive branch, among other things unconstitutionally
delegating its tax powers to the president by permitting him to create taxes
and set tax rates on a freelance basis as long as they are taxes on imports.
Not only is this a problem that can be fixed by Congress, it is one that can only
be fixed by Congress.
Democrats are right when they argue that there is not
going to be any end to these trade misadventures while Mike Johnson, that
wondrously gutless Trump enabler, is speaker of the House. Johnson has gone as
far as to use
procedural shenanigans in the Rules Committee to
preemptively rule any attempted House votes that would threaten Trump’s
patently unconstitutional tariff project “out of order”—as things stand, no
such votes can be conducted through March of next year, meaning that even if
Congress did muster the gumption to do something about this aspect of the
imperial presidency, nothing will happen because the speaker of the House
answers to the president rather than the House, having chosen to subordinate
himself to the executive branch and, thus, to forsake his actual constitutional
duties.
When I talk to Democrats, they try to convince me that
they are where I am on trade. But Democrats are not running on a free-trade
platform. They are running on a platform of pretending that economic tradeoffs
aren’t real or that they can be magicked away with sufficient cleverness in
policymaking and rhetoric.
Democrats—even farm-state Democrats—have a hard time
making a forthright case for free (or simply more liberal) trade on either
principled or pragmatic grounds, because many of their most important
constituents are just as nationalistic as the econoxenophobes in the Trump
movement while a good share of the rest of them hate capitalism, full stop, and
are not going to be much moved by free-trade arguments. Rank-and-file Democrats
are much more intensely nationalistic than you might imagine: I once attended a
Bernie Sanders campaign event at which foreign-made cars were banned from the
parking lot. (In Michigan’s automotive heartland? No, surrounded by the
cornfields of Iowa.) Tariffs and trade protectionism are remarkably popular
across the partisan divide—that’s one of the ways you know they are stupid.
And that is one reason why Cooke, who can obviously see
the benefits of opening markets for Wisconsin farmers, proposes to create new
trade barriers, for example in the form of expanded agricultural subsidies for
local farming interests, acting in the grand tradition of proposing to bribe
the voters with their own money. Farmers may understand the value of integrated
global markets, but no Democrat wants to trot on down to the local union hall
and explain that we’re reducing or removing tariffs on Chinese-made electric
vehicles and household appliances in order to restore U.S. agribusiness’s
access to its most important export market.
Not to belabor the Hayekian point, but what we have here
is an excellent example of highly efficient and capable producers—the
astonishingly sophisticated American farmer—being hamstrung by populist policy
in order to protect the interests of less efficient and less productive firms,
including middling American manufacturers. American manufacturers at large are
far from a middling group, and Boeing doesn’t need to hide behind a tariff
wall. Neither does Dell. Neither does Micron Technologies, which has been more inconvenienced
by tariffs than protected by them, something that is true for many U.S.
firms with global reach, global operations, global supply chains, and—in case
anybody is paying attention—global policy vulnerabilities of the sort that you
might want to take into account before launching an idiotic trade war. Like American
wine producers, many U.S. manufacturers end up being kneecapped by tariffs
that are supposed to hobble their competitors, because those tariffs are
enacted by a bunch of lawyers in Washington who have no idea how the industries
they purport to manage actually work.
There’s a lot to the trade issue. It is complicated. And
I understand why Cooke’s press spokesman complained to me about his candidate
“being held to the standard of ‘solve the U.S.-China mess’ when the release we
put out talks about protecting soybean farmers.” (These poor press guys
apparently never stop to think that the half-assed stuff they too often put out
will land, from time to time, in the inbox of somebody who knows about the
issue and actually gives a damn about it.) My response to that is: Read Article
I of the Constitution and then tell me why I shouldn’t expect someone who wants
to sit in the House of Representatives to do the goddamned job, including the
very hard and thankless and politically difficult work of solving the
U.S.-China trade mess. Because the House is where that work gets done if it
gets done—it is where the mess gets cleaned up, if it ever is to be cleaned up.
The Democrats are right in the first part of their
analysis: The tariffs are hurting both U.S. producers and consumers, and the
madness is not going to end while Mike Johnson—or any similarly servile
water-carrier for Trump—is in the speaker’s chair. But that’s just the
beginning of the conversation.
Trade-offs are a real thing, and Democrats are in a real
bind between constituencies that have different interests, different
priorities, and different preferences where trade is concerned. Unfortunately,
Democrats in power have dealt with that mainly by continuing Trump’s trade
policies—which is more or less what the Biden administration did, keeping most
of the tariffs from the first Trump administration in place, indulging the same
kind of illiterate economic nationalism, as well as maintaining various forms
of non-tariff protectionism. Democrats hardly have clean hands on this: I am
old enough to remember 2012, when Democrats ran ads denouncing
Mitt Romney as an “economic traitor”—and is there a dumber, Trumpier
formulation than that?—for his liberal views on trade. Barack Obama spent a
good deal of time talking about a “new
nationalism”—Obama’s own words, referencing Teddy Roosevelt—lampooning
those with pro-trade views as people who believe that “the market will take
care of everything.”
Democrats are going to have to do better than that kind
of cheap horsepucky and better than Cooke’s special-pleading for strictly
parochial interests if they want to move the ball on the trade issue—and maybe
along the way pick up a few votes from people who care about that issue, who
tend to be the affluent and educated cosmopolitan professionals who are today a
natural Democratic constituency.
But, for goodness’s sake, don’t go around talking as
though a House seat were simply a perch from which to pronounce preferences
about policy outcomes. John Quincy Adams had a disappointing presidency that
ended with his humiliating defeat by arch-rival Andrew Jackson. Adams did not
spend the rest of his life monetizing his celebrity and connections—he returned
to the House of Representatives and spent the rest of his life there, doing
work that he believed to be important. He dealt with a lot of big issues,
including slavery—and he never protested that the onus was on Andrew Jackson to
figure it out.
And Furthermore ...
There is a great scene in The Paper, maybe the
greatest movie ever made about newspapers, in which a New York City parking
commissioner (played by Jason Alexander) who has been the target of a crusade
by a tabloid columnist (played by a perfectly cracked Randy Quaid) has a
tearful breakdown and demands (at gunpoint!) to know: “Why did you have to pick
on me?” The exasperated columnist answers: “You work for the city. It was your
turn.” I don’t think Rebecca Cooke is any worse (or, alas, much better) than
any other Democratic office-seeker on this issue. Why am I picking on her?
Because her press release landed in my inbox. Because it is her turn.
Economics for English Majors
One of the things that cost John Quincy Adams the
presidency was the Tariff of 1828, a.k.a. the “Tariff of Abominations.” Farmers
hated it because it raised prices for many ordinary goods (farmers were, in the
main, a relatively low-income group concentrated in the South) and did nothing
for their overseas markets, while northern manufacturers did not much like it,
either, because it raised the cost of many of their raw materials and other
inputs. Everybody expected the bill to die ignominiously, but some New England
manufacturers and their representatives in Congress reluctantly supported the
bill because they wanted to entrench protectionism in principle.
According to legend, the Tariff of Abominations was an intentionally bad bill,
written to discomfit Adams’s congressional allies, and many observers were
surprised when so many New Englanders voted for it and Adams signed it.
Everybody knew it was a bad deal, but the president and his allies supported it
for messaging purposes—they passed a dumb law to prove to its victims that they
were on their side. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. I am a fan
of both Presidents Adams, but this was not John Quincy’s finest hour.
Words About Words
“Do we believe all women, or do we not?” The New York
Times quotes
a reader discussing Amy Griffin’s almost certainly
fictitious “memoir” recounting supposed sexual abuse by a middle-school
teacher, the memory of which she supposedly recovered while taking MDMA, an
illegal hallucinogenic drug.
The specific question there—“Do we believe all women?”—is
reasonably easy to answer: No, of course not. There is some debate about how
prevalent false reporting is when it comes to claims of sexual assault, sexual
abuse, and sexual harassment, but no serious observer believes that the rate of
false reporting is 0.00 percent.
I know a little something about this owing to the fact
that I once was asked to review a memoir written by Lena Dunham, the gifted
actress and screenwriter, in which she recounted being raped at Oberlin by a
College Republican named Barry, an account that was, like a good deal else in
Dunham’s supposed memoir, pretty obviously made-up. But there was a prominent
College Republican named Barry at Oberlin during Dunham’s time there. I
interviewed him about the book (something no one else had bothered to do) and printed
his version of the story—not only that he had not raped Lena Dunham but
that he had never had any kind of encounter with her and did not know her at
school. Dunham did about what you would expect her to do, claiming
that she hadn’t meant to indicate that Barry
but a different man (Barry is an uncommon name, not among the top 1,000 men’s
names in the United States, and Republicans are not exactly planted thick on
the ground at Oberlin) while her publisher, Random House, promised
to revise the book and paid a small settlement (legal
fees) to the real-life Barry who had been smeared.
Believe all women? Not Lena Dunham, surely.
Slogans have a way of overpowering critical thought.
Jonah Goldberg wrote about this at considerable length in The Tyranny of
Clichés. As anybody who remembers the “Satanic panic” hoaxes of the 1980s
and 1990s surely knows, “recovered memories” are by and large baloney, hokum,
and pseudoscience. And as those of us who made a lot of bad decisions earlier
in life can tell you, MDMA does not have the kind of effects described by
Griffin, whose family just happens to be invested in an MDMA-oriented business.
(The Times’ reporting on this is excellent, good
work by Katherine Rosman and Elizabeth Egan.) There is no evidence at all
that the events recounted by Griffin happened—to her, anyway: Another classmate
with whom she was acquainted says she suffered similar sexual assaults, with
details nearly identical to the ones Griffin describes, perpetrated by a
different teacher.
Like Dunham, Griffin is a child of privilege (her
socially prominent family grew wealthy operating Toot’n Totum convenience
stores in Amarillo, Texas, where I was born and spent part of my childhood),
and it is not uncommon for such people to invent struggles and trauma for
themselves, providing their pampered lives with a kind of moral glow. At a
social event a couple of years ago, I heard a young woman from a wealthy family
being lionized for overcoming all of the many obstacles in her life and for
having the guts to “leave home” at the age of 15—“leaving home” in this case
being another way of saying that she attended a fancy boarding school before
going on to enjoy her trust fund. One can only imagine what it took to overcome
that.
Slogans are powerful because words are powerful. We have
to be on guard against allowing ourselves to be overpowered by them. We owe it
to justice—and to victims of sexual abuse—to use our brains in such a way as to
enable us to do keep more than one thing in our heads at a time: that women
coming forward with claims of abuse deserve a sympathetic hearing and a
thorough investigation of their complaints, and that at least some of them are
not telling the truth. People make false claims of sexual abuse fairly
commonly—ask a retired family-law judge if you doubt that. People who are paid
something on the order of $1 million to write a memoir are paid that amount
because the publisher expects that the book will sell well enough to justify
the advance—and the financial incentives there sometimes, unfortunately,
produce fiction masquerading as nonfiction. We have developed something very
close to a language taboo that prevents us from saying to non-credible
sources—say, Christine
Blasey Ford—something as simple as, “I do not believe your story.”
Believe all women? No, of course not. Believe all men?
No. Believe all politicians? Priests? Professors? No, no, no. Listen? Yes.
Think? Yes. Take serious things seriously? Yes.
In Closing
In general, I prefer that people feel good about
themselves. But there are some people who should be feeling kind of stupid
right now: people who supported Donald Trump because they thought he would end
the weaponization of the federal government in general and of the Justice
Department in particular; soybean farmers who supported him because they
believed he is a smart businessman and because they were spooked by conspiracy
theories and nonsense about “cultural Marxism”; people who thought he would end
the Russian war against Ukraine quickly and on reasonable terms; etc. The
problem with democracy is not the demagogue—it is the demos.
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