By Becket Adams
Sunday, March 26, 2023
We have been told nearly every year for the past
50-plus years that we have only ten years to live. If you figure that one out,
you’re good, as Groucho Marx would say.
On March 20, the New York Times greeted
readers with yet another startling announcement.
“Breaking News,” the paper pronounced, “Earth is likely
to cross a critical global warming threshold within the next decade unless
drastic changes are made.”
“It is still possible,” the New York Times continued,
citing a major new U.N. report, “to hold global warming to relatively safe
levels, but doing so will require global cooperation, billions of dollars and
big changes.”
The underlying study, prepared by the U.N.’s
Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), concludes that Earth is
doomed unless the international community agrees immediately to a multipronged
strategy to combat climate change. The strategy recommends that, among other
things, developed nations self-deindustrialize. The strategy also calls for the
transfer of billions upon billions of dollars from developed nations to the
governments of developing states as part of a “just transition to renewable
energy.”
“Climate justice is crucial because those who have
contributed least to climate change are being disproportionately affected,”
said study co-author Aditi Mukherji.
The study is a “clarion call,” said U.N. Secretary
General António Guterres, characterizing the report as a “survival guide
for humanity.”
We are “closer to the brink,” we are this close to
“climate catastrophe,” “humanity is on thin ice,” the “climate time-bomb is
ticking,” and “we don’t have a moment to lose,” Guterres helpfully added. Earth
will reach the point of no return by the 2030s unless we act now to reverse
course, the U.N. report agrees.
At CNN, chief climate correspondent Bill Weir served as
an unofficial IPCC spokesman: “There’s no such thing as climate alarmism
anymore,” he said. “The time bomb is ticking, but we have the guide on how to
defuse the bomb right in our hands.”
If you’re experiencing déjà vu reading these dire
predictions and warnings, that’s because you have in fact been here before.
Climate scientists and alarmists have prophesied the planet’s imminent demise
nearly every year now dating back to at least the end of the Second World War.
“We don’t have 12 years to save the climate. We have 14
months,” the now-defunct ThinkProgress predicted 43 months ago.
Former French prime minister Laurent Fabius warned 3,239
days ago that the international community had only “500 days to avoid climate
chaos.”
Earlier, in 2009, Gordon Brown, the U.K.’s prime minister
at the time, said we had “fewer than fifty days to save our planet from
catastrophe.”
Also in 2009, former vice president Al Gore declared that
“there is a 75% chance that the entire north polar ice cap, during some of the
summer months, could be completely ice-free within the next five to seven
years.” In 2013, mid-melt, the Guardian ran the following
headline: “US Navy predicts summer ice free Arctic by 2016.”
The ice is still there.
“NASA Scientist: We’re Toast,” reads the headline to an
Associated Press report from 2008.
In 2007, the IPCC predicted the Himalayan glaciers would
disappear by 2035. The U.N.’s chief climate-science body retracted the claim in
2010, explaining the prediction wasn’t based on any peer-reviewed data, but on
a media interview with a scientist conducted in 1999.
In 2006, Gore claimed that unless world leaders took
“drastic measures” to reduce greenhouse-gas emissions, Earth would surpass the
“point of no return” in ten years — a “true planetary emergency,” he called it.
The year 2016 came and went, and now we’re being told the early 2030s are
the real point of no return.
The Guardian, citing a “secret report,”
warned in 2004 that “major European cities will be sunk beneath rising seas as
Britain is plunged into a ‘Siberian’ climate by 2020.” The year 2022 was the
U.K.’s warmest since they started keeping records in 1884. The heat was, of
course, blamed on climate change.
“U.N. Predicts Disaster If Global Warming Not Checked,”
the AP reported in 1989.
The report’s opening line reads, “senior U.N.
environmental official says entire nations could be wiped off the face of the
Earth by rising sea levels if the global warming trend is not reversed by the
year 2000.”
In 1974, however, Time magazine
published a feature story titled “Another Ice Age?” It was one of several
reports and articles warning not about warming but about cooling.
A Reuters wire story warned in 1974 that a new ice age
“could grip the world within the lifetime of present generations.”
“Space satellites show new ice age coming fast,”
the Guardian reported in 1974.
The Washington Post in 1971 reported,
“U.S. scientist sees new ice age coming.”
But before that, it was warming.
“Expert says Arctic Ocean will soon be an open sea;
catastrophic shifts in climate feared if change occurs; other specialists see
no thinning of polar ice cap,” the New York Times reported in
1969.
Earlier, in 1947, the New York Times also
reported, “Warming Arctic climate melting glaciers faster, raising ocean level,
scientist says.”
Here’s a bit of friendly advice for the true believers in
the climate-change camp: Settle on a number. You’re not going to win skeptics
and middle-of-the-roaders so long as you keep shifting your predictions and
getting the time frame for the planet’s environmental implosion wrong.
You need a Heinz 57 moment.
In the 1962 political thriller The Manchurian
Candidate, the frustrated red-scare-monger Senator John Iselin (James
Gregory) begs his scheming wife, Eleanor Shaw Iselin (Angela Lansbury), to help
him settle on a made-up figure for the number of communist spies supposedly in
the U.S. Defense Department.
“The way you keep changing the figures on me all the
time,” the senator complains, “it makes me look like some kind of a nut, like .
. . like an idiot. The boys are even starting to kid me about it.”
Eleanor asks, “Would it really make it easier for you if
we settled on just one number?”
“Yeah. Just one real, simple number that will be easy for
me to remember,” he says.
As the senator speaks, he slathers his breakfast with
Heinz ketchup. He pauses suddenly, locking eyes with his wife. They’ve both
come to the same eureka moment.
“There are exactly 57 card-carrying members of the
Communist Party in the Department of Defense at this time!” John Iselin later
barks to his colleagues from the floor of the U.S. Senate.
It’s not necessarily the case that climate scientists and
alarmists are simply inventing doomsday dates the way Iselin invents the exact
number of communist spies in the federal government. But it is the
case that the constantly fluctuating dates and predictions make the climate
alarmists look like nuts and idiots. The boys are even starting to kid about
it!
So pick a number. One simple number that will be easy for
everyone to remember. The cause of our destruction can be warming or cooling,
whatever you want! Just settle on a date already — and maybe place it well into
the future. It’s awfully irritating having to set one’s affairs in order so
frequently.
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