By Heather Wilhelm
Thursday, November 02, 2017
Author’s Note: This mysterious letter was delivered to my office yesterday, along
with a request that it be read to the tune of the soulful violin music often
found in Ken Burns’s acclaimed PBS documentary, The Civil War. Perhaps it was a case of mistaken address;
perhaps it was destiny.
November 2, 2017
Camp Cluttered News Cycle, Somewhere Near
Washington, D.C.
My dearest Sarah,
The indications are
very strong that, despite the existence of approximately 1 billion other things
to discuss, a faction of the American political class wishes to relitigate the
Civil War. In the process, many combatants will step on as many proverbial
rakes as they can.
Sarah, my love for
you is deathless, as is the ability of certain political figures to take a
simple question and escalate it into a cringe-inducing conflagration. This, in
turn, makes many reasonable Americans — Americans who, sure as night shall dawn
into the day, merely want regulatory cuts or maybe an end to the death tax or
perhaps simply for politicians to kindly zip it once in a while — exasperated
enough to feel like throwing their laptops into the nearest washing machine,
filling said machine with rocket fuel, and hitting “high temp” followed by
“vigorous spin.”
Oh Sarah! It is a
mystery that haunts my soul: If the dead can come back to this earth and flit
unseen around those they loved, surely they can also wonder as to why the
living are assaulted by increasingly baffling comments about the Civil War?
Dearest Sarah, in truth, I would rather listen to hours of huffy television
debates about the propriety of various innocuous public Christmas displays.
Alas, as the air of winter descends upon my throbbing temples, I suspect those
will come soon, too.
Alright, fine, you caught me: This letter did not float
into my office. It was not delivered in the talons of one of those owls from
Harry Potter. I did not find it, sui generis, hidden inside a giant peach. In
the grand tradition of fake Civil War letter writers everywhere, I made it up.
But lo, the agony it represents is genuine.
This week, while normal people like me were getting all
fired up about the distant possibility of tax reform — well, maybe that’s not
entirely normal, but you get my drift — John Kelly, President Trump’s chief of
staff, decided to gin up a good old-fashioned national Civil War debate on
Laura Ingraham’s new Fox News show.
Asked about Trump’s defenses of Confederate monuments,
Kelly started out in a fairly reasonable vein, describing the growing
anti-monument movement across the country. “I think it’s just very, very
dangerous,” he said, “and it shows you what, how much of a lack of appreciation
and [sic] what history is.” If he had
simply stopped there, perhaps everything would have been fine. No matter how
you feel about Confederate statues and memorials — personally, I can see why
people want revisionist “Lost Cause” memorials removed — there is a respectable
argument to be made that tearing down historical symbols could lead to a
slippery slope with no logical endpoint. (We saw hints of this recently, when
Christ Church in Alexandria, Va., removed a plaque dedicated to former
congregant George Washington, grouping him with Robert E. Lee as “an obstacle
to our identity as a welcoming church.”)
Alas, Kelly did not stop there. “The lack of an ability
to compromise,” he said, “led to the Civil War, and men and women of good faith
on both sides made their stand where their conscience had them make their
stand.” As anyone with more than a sixth-grade education can tell you, one side
made that stand on behalf of enslaving human beings. In such a situation,
“compromise” does not work. Seeming slightly flabbergasted, Ken Burns himself
weighed in on Twitter: “Many factors contributed to the Civil War. One caused
it: slavery.”
Not to be outdone by Kelly, on Tuesday, Sarah Huckabee
Sanders kept making the hole he’d dug deeper. “General Kelly was simply making
the point that just because history isn’t perfect, it doesn’t mean that it’s
not our history.” That sounds fine, I guess. Perhaps someone could point out
that Confederate monuments are generally a local issue and move on!
But unfortunately, Sanders wasn’t done. “I’m not going to
get up here and relitigate the Civil War,” she responded to follow-up
questions, right before attempting to do just that. “Many people,” she said,
“believe that if some of the individuals engaged had been willing to come to
some compromises on different things, then it may not have occurred.” Here, I
like to imagine Ken Burns hurling various large Civil War–themed books at his
TV.
Why is this happening? What have we done to deserve such
torture? (Never mind. Don’t answer that.) Last week, we saw similar
cluelessness from the other side of the aisle, when a Virginia group ran a
political ad showing a racist Republican truck driver murderously chasing down
immigrant children. Americans, it appears, are not very good at moderation —
but when it comes to botched digressions about the Civil War, our political
class has us covered. Please, everyone, try to do better the next time. In the
interim, perhaps we can talk about tax reform. The prospect of a boring
political discussion never sounded so good.
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