By Amy Otto
Friday, March 06, 2015
Recently, an unflattering photo of Cindy Crawford from a
Marie Claire photo shoot came to light. Despite the evident poor lighting,
heavy filter usage, and now alleged photoshopping that contributed directly to
a likely inaccurate and certainly unflattering photo for Crawford, the
overwhelming cheers at this “revelation” were revealing. The barely concealed
joy from many women seizing an opportunity to tear Crawford down was palpable.
The worst part is that these same women framed it as
supportive of Crawford. Heralding this photo as “truth” says more about what
drives some women than whether Crawford is still a stunner. Spoiler, she is.
This reaction is a fundamental reason why more legislation won’t bring equity
to western women. The real gap between men and women is the one not often
discussed. It’s the envy gap.
“No matter where the photo came from, it’s an
enlightenment – we’ve always known Crawford was beautiful, but seeing her like
this only makes us love her more,” Marie Claire posted on its website. Women
tripping over themselves to “congratulate” Crawford for a solitary unflattering
photo aren’t supporting her. If love is only doled out to other women from
women when they are at their worst, one might worry at incentive system they’re
creating. Cindy Crawford is quite aware of the dynamic and does the mandatory
self-denigration ritual to remain acceptable to other women.
You Don’t Need to Denigrate Your Beauty, Cindy Crawford
“Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford,”
People Magazine quoted Crawford from a past interview, in its story about the
unflattering photo. “I have fat days, ugly days, blimp days, days that I just
feel terrible about myself. I don’t want to have to be beautiful all the time”
The consequences would be too severe if Cindy admitted the truth and simply
said, “Thank you,” and admitted what we all know. She is remarkably symmetrical
and thus fits into a long-accepted standard of beauty that predates modern
culture. In other words, she is stunning. She started off as a chemical
engineering major and often leans Right in her politics, so clearly also a smart
lady. What would happen if Cindy did say thank you? Well, thankfully, Amy
Schumer has an excellent
take on this exact problem (language nsfw).
Women engaged in this stampede of weaponized envy are at
the root of why women shy away from achievement. The enforced norm in female
culture of managing expectations down to the lowest common denominator needs to
stop. The fact is, Crawford per this recent photo is still spectacular-looking.
Some women simply cannot stand that she is stunning
despite that having no bearing on who they are. Instead, many women leap with a
barely concealed glee when there might be an opportunity to redistribute what
they do not possess. Within the same week, women were foaming at the mouth over
this woman’s post-pregnancy body as if she was violently attacking them with
her well-recovered abs. She did not get the memo about keeping her expectations
in line with the lowest common denominator and instead took her passion for
fitness and demonstrated how it can help your body during and after pregnancy.
Stuck in a Fixed-Pie Mindset in a World with Limitless
Potential
The sheer desperation displayed during the moment they
diminish another woman shows why women still aren’t measuring up to men. Men do
not spend their days lamenting Brad Pitt’s good looks. They accept differences
in allocation as the norm. Women often find it easier to avoid building their
own capacity and resort to establishing their value by tearing others down.
This is the tragedy of today’s woman stuck in a fixed-pie
mindset in a world with limitless potential. While debating confidence gaps,
leaning in, or whether to ban words like “bossy,” there is no moment to contemplate
what men do right that women may benefit from adopting. Men do not spend their
days complaining about Photoshop or absurd standards of beauty even when faced
with this, this, or this.
The time People Magazine did an expose of celebrities
with bad skin, featuring Pitt, it went largely unnoticed by the male
population. Despite this “real” moment, not one man took up the charge to
gleefully thank Brad for his realness and honesty. Instead, they engage in this
strange ritual of admiring those who have achieved or possess attributes they
may desire.
Sometimes they even develop bro crushes on People’s
sexist man of the year when they get to know an icon instead awaiting an
unphotoshopped photo to calm themselves about their place in the world. Women
who seek opportunity with the stunning amount of options that capitalism and
western culture have provided might consider that men may have something to
teach women.
The Wolf Pack Must Back Down for Women to Move Ahead
It’s depressing to watch women regress to redistributive
tendencies instead of taking their own initiative to control what they can and
let go of what they cannot. There is little value in worrying about what Cindy
Crawford looks like, and men as a group seem to largely understand this. Women
instead enforce the idea that only “good” woman is one who lowers her
expectations to never exceed the lowest common denominator amongst the female
population. Remember how a bad photo makes them “love” Crawford more.
The desperate need to attack accomplished women because
they may make other women feel bad about their own accomplishments is a
predominately female trait at the crux of what holds women back from assuming a
sane and equal partnership in society. Until women are capable of admiring and
aspiring towards those who achieve more than they can at that moment, they will
remain behind.
The wage gap is really the envy gap. Spending less time
on envy and more on individual effort will close more gaps than seeking government
intervention. The more one watches the faux congratulatory embrace by women of
this photo of Crawford as “real,” the more obvious it becomes that it’s about
those women feeling like they had to measure up and relishing the moment to
take her down a peg. This redistributive end game has no winners and only
serves to enforce the norm of average as acceptable. Telling women to not
outshine anyone else lest they be cast out of female circles is doing more
damage than an errant ‘bossy” comment.
If you want to work towards a more “equitable” society,
consider admiring another woman who has aspirational attributes instead of
hoping for a moment to tear her down. If women can’t spend time worrying about
what is within their control instead of seeking to control others, they will
continue to deserve to be paid less since they are demanding less of themselves
and others.
No comments:
Post a Comment