By Heather Wilhelm
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
In What Happened,
Hillary Clinton’s new 512-page recollection of what was perhaps the most
painful and awkward election in American history, the former secretary of state
recounts an infamous debate moment she shared with Donald Trump:
We were on a small stage, and no
matter where I walked, he followed me closely, staring at me, making faces. It
was incredibly uncomfortable. He was literally breathing down my neck. My skin
crawled.
In her mind, Clinton recounts, she weighed two options:
Do you stay calm, keep smiling, and
carry on as if he weren’t repeatedly invading your space? Or do you turn, look
him in the eye, and say loudly and clearly, “Back up, you creep, get away from
me, I know you love to intimidate women but you can’t intimidate me, so back up.”
Option B, as the kids like to say, would have escalated
things rather quickly, with the added bonus of seeming a teeny bit unhinged.
Hillary, of course, chose the more repressed Option A: “I kept my cool, aided
by a lifetime of dealing with difficult men trying to throw me off.”
Ah, yes. It’s difficult to pinpoint the most painful
Hillary Clinton moment of the many painful Hillary Clinton moments that
populate What Happened, but this one
certainly comes close. Think about it: Even now, after months of time to
reflect and ruminate and engage in self-soothing techniques like downing
Chardonnay and “one-nostril breathing,” Hillary Clinton is completely oblivious
to what any decent politician would have realized, if not in the heat of the
moment, at least in hindsight: There was an obvious Option C.
I’m referring, of course, to one of my favorite moments
in presidential debate history, when a rather creepy Al Gore sidled up to a
cheerful George W. Bush, looking as if he may or may have been considering a
duel or a gentlemanly bout of fisticuffs. The year was 2000, and the heated
topic that catapulted Gore’s blood pressure skyward — brace yourself, for in
the scope of today’s tabloid-splashed politics, this will seem rather quaint —
was the details of the “Dingell-Norwood Bill.” Gore edged closer, quietly
lurking, deadly serious. After ignoring him for a few moments, Bush turned,
acted mildly surprised to see him, and greeted him with a bemused, dismissive
nod.
The audience broke into laughter. They loved it. Gore did
not.
Well, as we all know, Hillary Clinton is no George W.
Bush. She is also, as What Happened
strains to remind us over and over and over again, no Donald Trump. And while
many Americans might wonder why on earth anyone would spend their free time
reading a book rehashing what should be fairly obvious by now — Hillary Clinton
is not a very good politician — What
Happened does manage to offer some valuable insights. Unfortunately,
they’re not the ones the author intends.
Let’s talk about David Foster Wallace, shall we? Hillary
Clinton does, bringing up his famous “This Is Water” commencement speech in her
chapter entitled “On Being a Woman in Politics.” She’s referring to the deeply
moving and widely read address in which Wallace discusses human nature and
life’s various struggles, noting that “the most obvious realities are often the
ones that are the hardest to see and talk about.” The speech opens with an
anecdote about two fish who fail to recognize that they are completely immersed
in water.
This, according to Clinton, “sums up the problem of
recognizing sexism — especially when it comes to politics — quite nicely.”
When I read this, I briefly looked around the room,
aghast, hoping to share my astonishment. Alas, I had no company, save for the
battered ghost of irony silently popping pills in the corner. For heaven’s
sake, Hillary Clinton! Wallace was talking about self-centeredness and about
our frail human tendency to cast our own obsessions and cloistered view of reality
— our “lens of self” — on the world. You know, like a certain failed
politician’s annoying habit of blaming sexism and misogyny for at least 80
percent of anything that goes south.
Through Hillary’s lens, Elizabeth Warren’s problem isn’t
that she’s a kooky socialist who could single-handedly send the economy
careening off the cliff. It’s that she’s seen as a “shrill woman.” Most of
Hillary’s problems were completely self-made, and yet here she is, explaining
away: “The Puritan witch hunts might be long over, but something fanatical
about unruly women still lurks in our national subconscious.” Well, it lurks in
someone’s subconscious, certainly.
Between cutesy stories about counting the calories in
Flavor Blasted Goldfish and sitting on Quest bars “to warm them up” — no, I
have no idea what this means, either — and occasional eruptions of disdain
toward people who weren’t inspired by her desperately uninspiring campaign, a
larger thread unspools throughout the pages of What Happened. Government, in Clinton’s view, can solve almost
every issue, from child-raising to microeconomic trends to playground
interpersonal relations. (“Many kids asked what I would do about bullying,
which made me want to be president even more. I had an initiative called Better
Than Bullying ready to go.”)
Which brings us back to David Foster Wallace and the end
notes of his “This Is Water” speech: “There is no such thing as not
worshipping,” he told the students of Kenyon College. “Everybody worships. The
only choice we get is what to worship.” For many, that choice turns out to be
government, or politics, or political power. One wonders whether Clinton read
the full “This Is Water” speech; one also wonders whether Clinton is earnest
when she writes that “the White House is sacred ground.” It certainly makes for
awkward reading — just like the whole of 2016.
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