By Heather Wilhelm
Wednesday, February 07, 2018
Human history is full of unintended consequences. Much
like the importation of invasive kudzu vines to America, the entire tragic
catalogue of Communist central planning, and Barbra Streisand’s ill-fated 2003
attempts to squash publication of photos of her Malibu beach house, the
much-ballyhooed #MeToo movement has delivered more than a few accompanying —
and unfortunate — surprises.
Well, let me amend that: If you’ve been watching
feminism’s sometimes-impressive downward spiral over the past few years, you’re
probably not surprised at all. This does not make the latest headlines any less
weird.
“Can You Still Date a Co-Worker? Well, It’s Complicated.”
That’s the title of a brow-raising Wall
Street Journal story yesterday, though it might better have been titled
“Measured Dispatch from Dysfunction Junction.”
“U.S. companies are trying to keep romantic relationships
from spiraling into a risk factor,” the Journal
reports. “The national conversation on sexual harassment and abuse of power has
galvanized a wider discussion about whether consensual office relationships are
OK.”
As a reminder, we are talking about consensual
relationships between grown adults in a free country — people who can brush
their own teeth, floss if they’re feeling ambitious, legally operate large
motorized vehicles, and maybe even decide whom they are going to date. But,
unfortunately, we are also talking about the awkward consequences of a feminist
movement that seems increasingly based on fear, loathing, and spurts of
wild-eyed all-caps Twitter yelling.
Hey, speaking of social media, how’s the dating climate
at Facebook and Google, supposed beacons of empowerment and bold progressive
cultural change? “Employees are only allowed to ask a co-worker out once,” the Journal reports. “If they are turned
down, they don’t get to ask again. Ambiguous answers such as ‘I’m busy’ or ‘I
can’t that night,’ count as a ‘no,’ said Heidi Swartz, Facebook’s global head
of employment law.”
But . . . what if you really are busy? What if you actually can’t that night, but would like to
do it another time, but you forgot to add that part, or simply wanted to be
asked again? What if you are a rare devotee of the slightly crazed 1990s dating
handbook The Rules, and you refuse to
accept a Saturday-night date after a Wednesday? What if you would like to
present a sense of mystery or are slightly undecided? What if your impressions
of the asker change over time? What if you date people only after they’ve
proved their persistence by standing outside your window passionately lofting
an old-school boom box playing “In Your Eyes” like John Cusack did in Say Anything? (It is 2018, so do not try
this in real life. You will probably get arrested.)
Let’s face it: This is all kind of weird. In this
worldview, which developed long before #MeToo, everything must be spelled out,
contract-like, businesslike, and brisk. There is no room for error or nuance —
the stakes are far too dangerous and high! Moreover, for those most deeply
entrenched in the current movement, the previous paragraph might sound wildly
problematic. How dare one presume that a woman might be on the fence, or that
she might actually be a normal, well-functioning adult who can somehow avoid
spiraling into mute terror over a second date request? How can we possibly
expect an adult to personally judge when behavior crosses a line?
Companies such as Facebook and Google, of course, are
free to do what they want — according to Google, the company has had a dating
policy since 2004. But the cultural assumptions behind the “only ask once”
rules, paired with the rise of similar #MeToo-inspired policies, should bother
anyone concerned with equal opportunity. After all, why would you need such
stringent rules unless you view women as essentially weak creatures who can’t
stand up for themselves? Women, the assumption seems to be — and let’s be real,
these rules are largely centered on “protecting” women, not men — can’t handle
even the most minor uncomfortable situations, so HR must stop them before they
start.
It’s strangely Victorian. It’s also pretty darn
anti-feminist, as far as I can see. Strangely, modern feminism seems to have
shifted our cultural focus from supposed “empowerment” and “choice” to treating
people like not-so-resourceful children. Well, never mind. We’re rolling, and
the consequences aren’t pretty.
As National Review’s
Kyle Smith recently noted in the New York
Post, major companies are now cutting back on men and women traveling
together for business. Many state legislators in Florida will no longer meet in
private with female lobbyists and staffers, with some requesting chaperones,
those sober adult guides formerly reserved for school dances and field trips.
Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal
tells us, corporations across the U.S. are “drawing a hard line in the sand”
when it comes to employee relationships. The assumption is that grown adults
can’t do it themselves.
Perhaps, in the mess of today’s confused
feminist-assisted culture, that assumption is correct. Oh, dear.
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