By Jonah Goldberg
Friday, March 01, 2019
One of my favorite Twitter accounts is the official
Twitter feed of the Socialist party of Great Britain. Folks often criticize me
for engaging with it because it is so irrelevant, even in socialist circles.
That in itself is a kind of accomplishment. It’s like the guy who attends Civil
War reenactment-society meetings, but dresses in full Klingon battle regalia
and screams at everyone that no one knows how to fight Romulans. “You call
yourselves warriors, but none of you even knows how to swing a Bat’leth!”
Virtually every time anyone says anything critical of
Maduro’s — or Stalin’s — socialism, the SPGB Twitter feed leaps into action,
raining “ACKSHULLYS” down like a UFC fighter beating on a 98-pound mugger.
“Actually” real socialism is collective ownership of the means of production!
Real socialism has never been tried! Soviet Communism was “state capitalism!”
You can almost smell the old socks and stale urine wafting up from the guy
tweeting from some public-library computer, his overstuffed shopping cart full
of dog-eared copies of Das Kapital
and back issues of Juggs close by his
side.
But that’s kinda what I like about the SPGB. At least
they take their ideas seriously. They’ve constructed a wholly hypothetical
alternative world that is simultaneously as plausible and impossible as Middle
Earth or Westeros or a great meal at a Wolfgang Puck Express at the Newark
airport. It sounds like it could be real, and it’s kind of fun to think about,
but it’s not actually reality. It’s like they think they can pluck the Platonic
ideal of a hamburger out of the ether and use it as a rhetorical cudgel to say
a Five Guys burger “isn’t a real hamburger! Real hamburgers have never been
tried!” Even the Wikipedia entry on the SPGB says: “The party’s political
position has been described as a form of impossibilism.”
Impossibilists of
the World Unite!
I don’t think anyone will be shocked to know that I’ve
won several chicken-eating contests, but that’s not important right now. It
also shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that I’m no expert on Carl Jung,
rumors of my ass-tattoo notwithstanding. But I do find some of his ideas
interesting, and not just his stuff on the designated hitter rule. I think
there’s something to the idea of the collective unconscious. Certain ideas or
concepts — archetypes according Jung — pop up in every culture.
I once listened to a great episode of Radio Lab in which
they talked about a fossilized skull of a young human that had been grabbed by
a giant bird and carried off (they could tell from the talon marks inside its
eye sockets. Let that image sink in). In our prehistoric past, there were birds
that preyed on us, and that’s why, they speculated, we get even to this day
that creepy fight-or-flight feeling when a shadow passes over our heads. We’ve
got some “Oh crap, run!” programming in us left over from when a shadow from above
terrifying. According to Jung, people all around the world have snake dreams
even though they may never have seen a snake or Michael Cohen.
This is how I mostly think about socialism now (as I
recently discussed on the Tikvah podcast). At its core, it’s not an idea or
even a program: It’s a feeling. The
world of liberal democratic capitalism is unnatural. “Unique among species,”
Robin Fox writes in The Tribal
Imagination, “we created the novel environment, and the supernovel
environment that followed on the Miracle, by ourselves and for ourselves.” But
just because our environment is new, our programming is still very old. A
pampered dog that has never known life outside a big city probably still dreams
of running through the woods in a pack, and somewhere deep inside of us we
dream of living in a tightknit community, a tribe or band, where we share all
of our possessions and are “all in it together.”
Indeed, Marx’s vision of the glorious end of history
tracked nicely with various romantic fantasies of what man’s life in a state of
nature was really like. Of course, these fantasies bore little resemblance to
the real world of our ancient past where giant fricking birds could pluck us
from the savannahs and feed us, piecemeal, to giant baby birds.
Capitalism In the
Side Pocket
I was eight when I first saw the George Burns movie Oh, God, but one line always stuck with
me. God/Burns is explaining some of his big mistakes. “Ostriches were a
mistake. Silly looking things. Avocados . . . Made the pit too big.” But he
also said, “The reason I put everyone here naked . . . I wasn’t trying to be
cute. It’s just that with clothes there’s right away pockets, and pockets, you
gotta put something in ‘em.”
There’s a point there. Private property is divisive. It
arouses envy, and envy is a hugely powerful emotion, a driver of all manner of
political evils. But in a state of nature, it’s a tool of social cohesion, just
like altruism and shame. Envy is one of the emotions that leads to sharing,
because it causes the group to demand the haves to share with the have-nots.
The thing is, where humans are nomadic, it’s hard to
accumulate too much private property when you can only keep what you can carry.
Now we can have a lot of property, but we also have a lot
of baggage in the form of an inarticulate yearning to restore an imagined past.
It’s an instinct for solidarity that manifests itself in different forms in
different ages, grafting itself to different priestly or technocratic lingo.
But you can incant all the Marxist verbiage you like, it doesn’t make the
underlying idea more modern.
In Ghostbusters,
when the very Jungian Gozer the Gozerian says: “Choose the form of your
destructor,” the team tries to keep their minds blank. But Ray couldn’t help
himself. “I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there.” And that’s all it took
for a Godzilla-sized Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man to materialize.
“I tried to think of the most harmless thing,” Ray says.
“Something I loved from my childhood, something that could never, ever possibly
destroy us: Mr. Stay-Puft.”
Socialism works in a similar way. Whether it’s the
Socialist Party of Great Britain or Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or the millions of
young people who think they’re socialists, they think socialism is a good thing
that can do no wrong, and if it does wrong it must be because it’s not really socialism. I understand why
conservatives think socialism is evil — because there are so many examples of
socialism being evil. But most socialists don’t think they’re evil — nor is it
their greatest dream to steal our hamburgers: Socialism is just their word for
fixing what’s wrong with the world. The problem is that when you give yourself
over to a single idea of how things should be, you check yourself into what
Chesterton called “the clean and well-lit prison of one idea” and you become
“sharpened to one painful point.” You are bereft of the “healthy hesitation and
healthy complexity” that lets you grasp the world as it is and understand the
crooked timber of human nature.
In the fantasy world of the SPGB, we’d all share equally
society’s wealth. But what this vision leaves out is the socialist with the
clipboard that keeps track of who gets their “fair share” and the men with guns
who protect the man with the clipboard from those who disagree with his
decisions. The man who says “get in line for your share” is the new ruler of
every would-be utopia. The clipboard becomes a totem of power no less ominous
than the ball and scepter, the whip, the fasces, or the phone the person in
power uses to make you disappear. Humans make hierarchies of status and
privilege for themselves whenever the opportunity avails itself. This is why
all socialist systems that do not work within the constraints of a liberal
democratic framework of the rule of law inevitably descend into tyrannies. Give
the state unbridled power, and the denizens of the state will use that power
toward their own ends.
But socialism is just one form of destructor that can be
unleashed to trample the complex ecosystem of liberty in pursuit of a single
idea. Nationalism, fascism, and almost every other ism can, in service to the
same cult of unity, do the same damage.
One-thingism is the enemy of all freedoms, even the one
thing of freedom itself. As Peregrine Worsthorne once noted, a doctrine of
total freedom pursued to its logical conclusion is a world where bullies are
free to do their will. Ordered liberty is a different concept altogether
because it balances the tension between the need for both order and liberty. We
are free to do the things that do not harm others unjustifiably. Which brings
me to . . .
The Freedom to
Kill Babies
I don’t like debating abortion, but every now and then I
get dragooned into it. The other day, I was on Guy Benson and Marie Harf’s
radio show, and we got into it because Ben Sasse’s Born-Alive Abortion
Survivors Protection Act bill had just gone down in flames. I like Marie quite
a bit, and I think she tries very hard to give conservatives a fair hearing, so
I don’t mean any of this as a personal criticism. But she ran through all of
the usual arguments, the chief of which was the old saw about how conservatives
are hypocrites because they want the government out of everything, yet they
want the state to regulate women’s reproductive choices.
My problem with this argument is that it suffers from a
profound category error. The first obligation of the state is to protect human
life. This is what Max Weber was getting at when he said the state has a
“monopoly on violence.” In a decent and free society, this monopoly has only a
handful of legitimate exceptions. The most important and obvious is the right
to self-defense, which is an absolute natural right that is prior to any form
of government. You cannot pass a just and enforceable law barring people from
fighting for their life when attacked.
The other exceptions are fairly minor and still fall
under the regulatory power of the state. Boxers need licenses after all. Police
have discretion about how to deal with bar room fights. Whether or not spanking
is good or bad for kids, I think parents have a right to do it. But we all
recognize that the state has a right to intervene when parents go much beyond
that kind of thing. A swat on the backside for a misbehaving child isn’t the
government’s business. A parent who beats or burns their kid should have their
kid taken away.
This sliding scale has an analogue in the abortion debate
— not theologically or scientifically perhaps — but culturally and politically.
Most Americans favor abortion rights shortly after conception through the end
of the first trimester. Even larger majorities are opposed to late-term abortions.
Again, putting aside the philosophical, scientific, and
theological arguments, this simply makes sense. People can understandably
debate whether a young embryo should be considered a human being. But there is
simply no credible moral argument that a viable baby should not be considered a
human being. A late-term fetus strikes most reasonable people as a baby, not
some abstracted and euphemized thing called “uterine contents” or whatnot. And
a delivered baby outside the womb or in the process of delivery is, simply, a
baby. The Barbara Boxer view that a baby miraculously becomes a baby only after
you bring it home from the hospital is a moral monstrosity.
And this is why conservative pro-lifers are not
hypocrites when they say the state should intervene on the behalf of babies. The real hypocrisy cuts the
other way. Liberal abortion rights supporters — speaking broadly — have no
principled objection to the state regulating the size of our sodas, banning
plastic straws or regulating free speech. But going by the statements and votes
of the last month — by Ralph Northam, Andrew Cuomo, Kamala Harris, and so many
others — they draw the line at regulating infanticide.
From LifeNews about Kamala Harris’ recent comments:
Harris, a 2020 hopeful who voted
against Republican Nebraska Sen. Ben Sasse’s bill, would not say if abortion
was ever immoral.
“I think it’s up to a woman to make
that decision, and I will always stand by that,” she told The DCNF. “I think
she needs to make that decision with her doctor, with her priest, with her
spouse. I would leave that decision up to them.”
Harris supports the Women’s Health Protection Act (as do
Elizabeth Warren, Cory Booker, Beto O’Rourke, Kristen Gillibrand, Amy
Klobuchar, and Bernie Sanders). It would eliminate nearly all limits on
abortion from late-term bans to abortions based on sex-selection (one wonders
how they would feel if transgender fetuses could be identified in utero).
This isn’t ordered liberty; it’s the freedom of the
jungle which says you can do whatever you can get away with. It’s fine to argue
that “abortions” of viable, healthy, babies are rare (putting aside all the
begged questions implicit in the word “healthy.” Do otherwise healthy kids with
Down Syndrome count as unhealthy?). But what we’re talking about is the
principle. If I said, “Look, it’s extremely rare for women to kill left-handed
dudes named Todd who think E.L.O was better than the Rolling Stones,” that
would be a true statement. It would not be an argument for killing that poor
unlucky Todd with terrible taste in music.
Just as socialism represents an atavistic impulse to
return to pre-modern understandings of politics, the new push for killing
inconvenient babies — in principle — is a barbaric step backward to
pre-civilized past. Infanticide in our natural environment was incredibly
common. This is from part of my book that didn’t make publication:
With the exception of the Jews,
virtually all ancient societies, Western and non- Western, routinely butchered,
burned, smothered or otherwise slaughtered their own children (and the children
of their enemies even more). The Svans of Ancient Georgia murdered newborn
girls by filling their mouths with hot ashes. In parts of Ancient China, female
babies were killed by submerging them in buckets of cold “baby water.” In
feudal Japan, the practice of Makibi (a term borrowed from rice farming meaning
“thinning out”) was widespread. Unwanted babies — mostly girls, but also some
boys, particularly twins (which were considered unlucky or dangerous in many
pre-modern societies) — were snuffed out with a wet cloth. In India infants
were sometimes thrown into the Ganges as sacrifices or had their throats cut.
As the anthropologist Laila
Williamson famously wrote:
Infanticide has been practiced on
every continent and by people on every level of cultural complexity, from
hunters and gatherers to high civilization, including our own ancestors. Rather
than being an exception, then, it has been the rule.
In pre-historic times, which were no Eden, our ancestors
often killed their offspring because they were a real burden and adoption
agencies were few and far between. And when I say a real burden, I mean a real
burden. Mothers often didn’t have enough milk to feed two infants, which is why
the killing of twins was so common. Crying babies when enemy tribes or
predators are about are as inconvenient as hungry toddlers when food is scarce.
One aspect of the amazing miracle of the environment we
live in now – i.e. civilization — is
that killing babies is no longer a necessity, but a luxury. This move to
disguise this hideous luxury as a new form of necessity is not a sign that we
are advancing as a civilization, but that we are regressing, back to when
killing babies was natural and normal.
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