Sunday, April 9, 2023

What If Trump Mugged Stormy Daniels?

By Rich Lowry

Sunday, April 09, 2023

 

POLICE BLOTTER — 3/10/23 11:08:31 P.M. Reported Theft 

 

E-911 caller reported a woman had her purse stolen in the 700 block of Fifth Avenue of Manhattan. The woman, a Caucasian approximately 45 years of age, wearing a white dress and high heels, was waiting to meet an Uber XL after getting a drink with her attorney and publicist. The assailant brandished a handgun and wrested the purse from the woman, while shouting, “This is MAGA country!” The assailant, a red-headed elderly Caucasian male who was wearing a business suit and long red tie, was GOA.

 

AP Report — 3/12/23 10:05 A.M.

 

Former President Trump Arrested on Suspicion of Armed Robbery

 

Manhattan — In a shocking development, former president Donald J. Trump was arrested in New York City today on suspicion of armed robbery, adding to his controversial legacy that incudes two impeachments and January 6.

 

Trump was identified on surveillance video as the alleged perpetrator of a robbery of porn star Stormy Daniels, with whom the former president has been involved in a long fight stemming from his hush payment to her during the 2016 campaign over an alleged affair.

 

Trump is being charged with robbery in the first degree, an offense that carries a sentence of up to 25 years, as well as criminal possession of a firearm, a class E felony punishable by up to four years in prison.

 

Legal experts agree that, if the video indeed captured the former president in the commission of the crime, there will be no defense for a man who has often operated on the edge of the law. “The walls really will close in on him this time,” said Rachel Sykes, an assistant professor at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice.

 

The former president briefly paused to speak to reporters when he exited the back of a New York City patrol car and denied everything. “I would never assault or rob Stormy Daniels,” he said. “Just look at her.”

 

AP Report — 3/12/23 10:12 A.M.

 

Former President Trump Released on Bail 

 

Manhattan — Former president Donald Trump was rapidly released with a ticket to appear after being arrested on suspicion of robbing porn star Stormy Daniels.

 

The president walked with Secret Service protection across the street to visit a local McDonald’s where he ordered a Big Mac and two large fries. Exiting the restaurant, he smiled broadly to reporters and, asked how he felt, replied, “Great. What do they say? Free as a bird!”

 

Legal experts explained that while it may seem discomfiting that a suspect accused of a committing a serious offense with a firearm would be released so rapidly without posting any money and without electronic surveillance, this is how the system works in New York since the passage of its controversial bail reform.

 

Reached for comment about the former president’s immediate release, Stormy Daniels said, “You’ve got to be freakin’ kidding me.”

 

AP Report — 3/15/23 10:12 A.M.

 

Charges against Former President Trump Reduced

 

Manhattan — In a new development in the historic legal drama gripping the country, charges were reduced today against Donald Trump stemming from his alleged mugging of porn star Stormy Daniels.

 

The office of Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg announced the new charges.

 

The charge of robbery in the first degree has been dropped to petit larceny, a misdemeanor typically used in shoplifting cases, and the former felony gun charge is now criminal possession of a weapon in the fourth degree, also a misdemeanor.

 

Legal experts said they were surprised by the changes that likely remove any possibility of serious jail time even if Trump is convicted of stealing Daniels’s purse at gunpoint.

 

Rachel Sykes, an assistant professor at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, said Bragg usually only reduces charges in cases involving inveterate criminals or street thugs and she’s “shocked and dismayed” that Bragg has done the same for such a high-profile defendant. “What message does this send?” she asked.

 

In a statement, Bragg’s office said, “In light of the fact that the alleged offense is not a white-collar violation but, instead, an ordinary street crime of the sort that often goes unreported and unpunished in this city, we felt reduced charges were only fair. This office is committed to not enforcing the law equally.”

 

A top police officer, who spoke anonymously because he wasn’t authorized to comment on the matter, said, “See the sh** we have to put up with?”

 

AP Report — 3/16/23 10:12 A.M.

 

Charges against Former President Trump Dropped

 

Manhattan — Donald Trump has escaped yet another legal scrape, as the office of Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg announced a deal that drops all charges in the Stormy Daniels case in exchange for the former president agreeing to counseling.

 

The deal created an instant firestorm. At a raucous press conference, where he was repeatedly challenged by angry reporters incredulous at the news, Bragg defended the decision.

 

“We think anger-management classes and mindfulness about properly fulfilling his role as a former president going forward are the appropriate responses to make Mr. Trump again a responsible member of this community, to which he has so much to offer,” Bragg said.

 

“This youthful indiscretion,” he continued, “shouldn’t be the occasion for tearing apart his family, blighting his future, or hampering his ability to get and maintain gainful employment. I’ve seen it too many times.”

 

When reporters asked Bragg if he was letting a clearly guilty man off the hook, Bragg forcefully insisted, “It’s not my job to send one more person than necessary into the prison-industrial complex — I don’t care if he’s some kid who’s held up a gas station or the former president of the United States.”

 

Bragg’s allies point out that he has quickly put back on the street defendants with dozens of prior arrests, so it shouldn’t be surprising that he’s done the same with Trump.

 

“It’s not like Donald is going to go rob his neighborhood CVS immediately after this, like so many other defendants do,” said a source close to Bragg who requested anonymity to speak frankly.

 

On his Truth Social account, the former president wrote, “SO DISGUSTING HOW THESE ANIMALS AND RADICL MONSTERS ARE GOING AFTER ALVIN BRAGG, OR AS I LIKE TO CALL HIM ‘BIG AL.’ THEY CAN’T STAND THAT BIG AL WAS VERY FAIR TO TRUMP WHILE THE FAKE NEWS LOST ITS MIND OVER A ‘PERFECT’ INTERACTION WITH STORMY DANIELS. BESIDES, AS I TOLD BIG AL, YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT, AS GOOD AS WASHINGTON AND LINCOLN, DEFINITELY PROMISES NOT TO DO IT AGAIN.”

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