A Sniveling Graham Platner Torches the Democrats on His Way Out of Their Party

By Jeffrey Blehar

Thursday, July 09, 2026

 

Readers, some entirely predictable news: Graham Platner, the Democratic nominee to take on Maine’s Republican Senator Susan Collins this November, announced last night at 8 p.m. local time that he would be dropping out of the race because of a late-emerging allegation of rape five years ago. Platner himself insisted, in a video explaining his decision to withdraw: “This is all false. The things that have been claimed did not happen. It’s not real.” And yet there he was, somberly whimpering his way to early retirement, claiming that the dark forces of the Democratic Establishment were forcing his hand. If you were worried that he might muster even a shred of dignity or credibility in surrender, worry not: He’s just as much of a whiny, self-pitying dorm-room-socialist fraud as ever.

 

Behold, the bitterest retirement announcement since New Jersey’s Bob “Torch” Torricelli once moaned about how Americans had “become such an unforgiving people.” Before you click, I want to either warn or entice you by noting that Platner’s video is eleven minutes (!) long, full of pregnant pauses, a few edits, and a delivery choked by tense-throated near-blubbering. Platner rails endlessly against the Democratic Party and the shadowy string-pullers (“They,” the “larger forces” lurking out there) who are stealing his dreams from him.

 

Of course, they weren’t really his dreams — why, he’s just a humble hardscrabble shell-shuckin’ oysterman, after all. (“We were not looking to get into politics. We had no desire to run for office,” Platner lied, with alarmingly practiced casualness.) No, they’re your dreams, Maine voters — and the Man is taking them from you!

 

In other words, this disconsolate eleven-minute rant tailor-made to sow division and recrimination among Platner’s voters and progressives across the state is a sheer delight, a Molotov cocktail chucked through the window of the Maine Democratic Party on his way out the door. I have blissfully watched and carefully and lovingly transcribed every narcissistic second of it, a miserably paranoid stew of self-justifying excuses, continued lies, and overwhelming self-entitlement. Do you have what it takes to withstand this endurance test? Some excerpts:

 

I learned about this through press inquiries with no time to truly respond, no time for investigations, before a corporate media system and the  political establishment got to act as judge, jury, and executioner. Accusations are supposed to be the beginning of things, not the end. . . .

 

It’s not the false allegations, though, that have brought us to where we are. It’s the fact that they are being used by the political establishment to put structural pressure on us. We live in a political system that is not built for normal people. It is a system that is built structurally to make sure that movements like ours cannot flourish, that if they begin to succeed they can be crushed. . . .

 

I have all the faith that we could win if we could continue to harness that. But the brutal political reality is that They are going to take everything away from us. Those in power who have the ability to do so are using these allegations as an excuse to take away all of things we need to run a campaign.

 

We are going to lose our ability to fundraise. We are going to lose our ability to access voter data. We are going to lose all of the things that any campaign needs on the basic level simply to function. Larger organizations, the national-level party, the bigger donor networks, they have all committed to spending no money in this race if I am in it. They would rather see Susan Collins win than have me be the next senator from Maine.

 

Platner continues to maunder for several minutes, finally announcing his campaign suspension with a breathy sigh and then working himself up to a stirring climax:

 

We went toe to toe with one of the most entrenched political systems in the world, and we won. We beat them on June 9 in overwhelming numbers. We did it the right way. We built a campaign. We engaged in electoral politics, we motivated people, we banded together, we did it the way we were told we are supposed to make change. And we won, and now they are not going to let us have it. Not if it’s me.

 

You hate to see it.

 

And, in fact, you actually do hate to see it if you’re a Republican: because anyone with a brain could have told you that Platner was already a fatally wounded horse in the race, very much the one candidate guaranteed to lose to Collins in November. Now Maine Democratic insiders will get a chance to freeze out the Democratic Socialists of America at a convention to pick Platner’s replacement later this month. For the Democrats, it’s an unexpected mulligan in a campaign that, as I suggested last night, bears as much resemblance to a Coyote vs. Road Runner short as it does to a Senate race.

 

For the DSA and Republicans alike (who share an interest in destroying Democrats, albeit in different ways), it’s an opportunity to drive the wedge deeper: What Collins needs most acutely is for Platner and his embittered DSA cohort to crush any chance at Democratic Party unity, de-motivating voters in what remains a very blue state.

 

As we can see, everything seems to be proceeding nicely on that front. Platner apparently recorded his video four hours before he released it and sat on it until “prime time.” According to Politico, Platner’s advisers told him to “focus on ‘gratitude’” as his overarching theme, but he chose grievance instead. May he continue to fulminate in public about the wretched failure he brought on himself — as loud and as long as he wants. I’m here for every minute of it.