By Kevin D. Williamson
Sunday, February 02, 2020
Elizabeth Warren (D., Rolling
Stone) wants to own the nerd lane. “I have a plan for that!” is practically
her campaign slogan, and her tedious promises to “nerd out” are calculated to
appeal to the intellectual vanity of Democratic primary voters, NPR-listening
types who like to think of themselves as the smart people.
(Also the empathetic people, angels and ministers of
grace defend us.)
Never mind, as my National
Review colleagues have pointed out, that her plans are silly, shallow,
meretricious, unworkable, unlikely, asinine, and taken seriously by almost no
one, Senator Warren least of all. The point isn’t that the plan will work, or
even that it ever will be implemented. The plan is to demonstrate that you are
the right sort of person — it’s basically a wordy bumper-sticker. And that’s
the great thing about being in the Senate, especially as a member of the
minority party: You don’t have to do squat.
Which Senator Warren has not.
The nice people, the ones with all the empathy and the
NPR swag, like Senator Warren. Maybe not as much as you’d think: Joe Biden is
in the lead with 27 percent in the polls, followed by Bernie Sanders at 24
percent, with Senator Warren way down at No. 3 with 14 percent. Bernie Sanders
is a dopey rage-addled antique socialist who was born when Charles Lindbergh
was in the news, who would, if elected, finish his first term older than Ned
Beatty is today. Did you know Ned Beatty is still alive? Exactly.
Joe Biden is . . . not a confessing socialist.
Warren is trailing both of those guys. And it is dusty
back there.
She has plans. But she never has really had to implement
one. The closest she has come to doing anything of the sort was helping to
bring the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to life — and that thing is such
a goat rodeo that the Supreme Court may very well decide its basic structure is
unconstitutional. Her other carefully considered plans — such as passing
herself off as a Cherokee to advance her academic career — have not come to
much beyond embarrassment.
The obvious point of comparison here is the guy currently
in fourth place, behind Senator Warren: former New York City mayor Michael
Bloomberg. Bloomberg has plans, too — but, unlike Warren, Sanders, Biden, et
al., he has a pretty good record for bringing those plans to fruition. After a
wildly successful career in business, he went into politics, which is what you
do when your tens of billions of dollars are no longer enough to satisfy your
colossal vanity. He served three terms as mayor.
And, damn his eyes, he was pretty good at it: Murder
rates went down, and high-school graduation rates went up. His government
routinely ran surpluses. As Mike Pesca put it in Slate: “It’s true that Bloomberg is running differently than
everyone else in the race and it’s also true that he’s not a politician in the
emotive or empathetic mold of recently successful candidates. But in fact,
Bloomberg does have a message that could appeal to voters, and it’s a simple
one: Michael Bloomberg has a greater record of accomplishment in office than
any candidate in the race.” How? Because Bloomberg is the nerd that Senator
Warren pretends to be: a creature of data, measurement, and cold-eyed
assessment of political, economic, and institutional realities.
What’s the Democrats’ case against Bloomberg? That he’s a
billionaire interloper who won’t wait his turn? It is not very difficult to
think of examples of very wealthy men being poor performers in political
office, and there is something displeasingly Caesarish about a rich man
building a political campaign on his personal fortune. And Bloomberg is the
same age as Biden, in keeping with the Democrats recent taste for gerontocracy.
(Seriously, the Chinese politburo thinks these folks are really getting up
there.) That he’s too nanny-statey in Senator Warren’s world?
Conservatives will mostly detest Bloomberg, of course.
His views on abortion and gun rights alone are sufficient for that, and the
overwhelming majority of Republicans are more than happy with President Donald
Trump. But isn’t he exactly the kind of guy progressives and independents
always say they want? Pragmatic, non-ideological, results-oriented, and
bipartisan enough that he’s already been elected as a Republican and an
independent? (Hey, Libertarians: You get him next time.) But what people want
and what they say they want are not often the same thing.
A problem-solving realist with a strong, non-hypothetical
record in the real world? No, no, say Democrats, give us the rampaging
socialist wackadoodle who’s never had a real job. Sure, he might show up to his
inauguration wearing Lenin’s embalmed head as a codpiece, but that’ll show the
plutocrats!
That’s the 2020 Democrats: Too bananas for Marianne (no
relation) Williamson. The news from Iowa is a lot like the news from the
Senate: Full of evidence that Donald Trump is, if nothing else, lucky in his
opponents.
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