By Jonah Goldberg
Friday, January 18, 2013
Dear Socially Liberal Fiscal Conservative Friend,
That's pretty toothy, so I'm going to call you Bob.
But whatever specific name you go by, Bob, you know who
you are. You're the sort of person who says to his conservative friends or
co-workers something like, "I would totally vote for Republicans if they
could just give up on these crazy social issues."
When you explain your votes for Barack Obama, you talk
about how Republicans used to be much more moderate and focused on important
things such as low taxes, fiscal discipline and balanced budgets.
When Colin Powell was on "Meet the Press" the
other day, you nodded along as he lamented how the GOP has lost its way since
the days when it was all about fiscal responsibility.
And, Bob, you think Republicans are acting crazy-pants on
the debt ceiling. You don't really follow all of the details, but you can just
tell that the GOP is being "extreme," thanks to those wacky tea
partiers.
So, Bob, as a "fiscal conservative," what was
so outrageous about trying to cut pork -- Fisheries in Alaska! Massive
subsidies for Amtrak! -- From the Sandy disaster-relief bill? What was so nuts
about looking for offsets to pay for it?
Bob, I'm going to be straight with you. I never had much
respect for your political acumen before, but you're a sucker.
You're still spouting this nonsense about being fiscally
conservative while insisting the GOP is the problem. You buy into media's
anti-Republican hysteria no matter what the facts are. Heck, you even believe
it when Obama suggests he's like an Eisenhower Republican.
Well, let's talk about Eisenhower, your kind of
Republican. Did you know that in his famous farewell address he warned about
the debt? "We cannot mortgage the material assets of our grandchildren
without risking the loss also of their political and spiritual heritage,"
he said. "We want democracy to survive for all generations to come, not to
become the insolvent phantom of tomorrow."
Bob, we are that insolvent phantom, you feckless,
gormless clod. The year Eisenhower delivered that speech, U.S. debt was roughly
half our GDP. But that was when we were still paying off WWII (not to mention
things like the Marshall Plan), and the defense budget comprised more than half
the U.S. budget (today it's a fifth and falling). Now, the debt is bigger than
our GDP. Gross Domestic Product is barely $15 trillion. The national debt is
over $16 trillion and climbing -- fast. The country isn't going broke Bob, it
is broke.
When George W. Bush added nearly $5 trillion in national
debt in two terms you were scandalized. When Obama added more than that in one
term, you yawned. When, in 2006, then-Sen. Obama condemned Bush's failure of
leadership and vowed to vote against raising the debt ceiling, you thought him
a statesman. Obama, who wants to borrow trillions more, now admits that was
purely a "political vote."
Yet when Republicans actually have the courage of Obama's
own convictions you condemn them.
You nodded sagely when Obama said we needed a
"balanced approach" to cut the deficit. He said he couldn't rein in
entitlements without also raising taxes on "millionaires and
billionaires." Well, he won that fight. We raised taxes on millionaires
and billionaires exactly as much as he wanted. We also raised the payroll tax
on everyone.
Obama's response to getting the tax hikes he wanted? He
says we still need a "balanced approach" -- i.e., even more tax
hikes.
Anyone who calls himself a fiscal conservative
understands we have a spending problem. Do the math. A two-earner couple that
retired in 2011 after making $89,000 per year will pay about $114,000 into
Medicare over their lifetimes but will receive $355,000. When will it dawn on
you that Obama doesn't think we have a spending problem? I ask because when he
said "we don't have a spending problem," it seemed to have no effect
on you.
And yet you still think Paul Ryan's budget was
"extreme." Do you know when it balanced the budget? 2040. What's a
non-extreme date to balance the budget, Bob? 2113?
Look, Bob, I don't want to go spelunking in that cranium
of yours. I don't know why you think you're a fiscal conservative. The simple
fact is you're not. The green-eye-shaded Republicans you claim to miss would be
scandalized by the mess we're in, largely thanks to voters like you, Bob.
Eisenhower would take a flamethrower to today's Washington.
I don't expect you to vote Republican, never mind admit
you're simply a liberal. But please stop preening about your fiscal
conservatism particularly as you condemn the GOP for not being fiscal
conservatives, even when they are the only fiscal conservatives in town.
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