Friday, June 08, 2012
I love being hated. And if you don’t think I’m hated then
you haven’t read my most recent rating on www.RateMyProfessor.com. For those
too lazy to click the link (that means liberals), I’ve reprinted the latest
rating below:
“I hate this guy on a personal level. He is a hyper-conservative homophobic a**hole. I disagree with his beliefs in every way and have never in my life had a professor or teacher I disliked more. I have to admit he's a good professor as far as covering course material in a clear manner, but his class policy is also very strict.”
In just four sentences, this student has succinctly
summarized at least six major problems with liberalism in America. They follow
in no particular order of importance:
1. Hate speech is a one-way street. When conservatives
speak, their speech can still be labeled “hate speech” even if it does not
contain the word “hate.” But liberals can avoid a charge of hate speech even
when using the phrase “I hate” as an opener. Liberal hate is well-intentioned
and tends to focus on broader social goals. It isn’t the words that determine
whether something is free speech. It’s the sentiment that lies behind them.
2. Everyone else is extreme. The term hyper-conservative
is usually applied to people who believe crazy things like “marriage involves
one man and one woman” or “it’s wrong to dismember innocent babies.” According
to liberals, about 80% of the population is “hyper-conservative” for one reason
or another.
3. Every disagreement involves a “phobia.” A phobia is an
irrational fear of something. Liberals usually apply this term to people like
me who are not afraid to say anything. Absence of fear? Irrational fear? It’s
all the same in the mind of the liberal.
4. Disagreement with ideas justifies personal
vilification. Note that the above-quoted student links total disagreement with
ideas to maximum “dislike” for individuals. Also, note that he does so in the
same sentence. The cause/effect connection is inescapable. Because he disagreed
with my “beliefs” the liberal student “disliked” me more than any other
teacher. The student makes no effort to give any other reason than the ideas
themselves. In other words, hatred of ideas = hatred of persons. And the former
justifies the latter.
5. Qualifications are of minimal relevance. Eventually,
the liberal student admits I cover the material in a “clear manner” - but not
until after all the other personal attacks are aired. Personal characteristics
are more important than competence. That is why a liberal clings to affirmative
action like a conservative clings to guns and religion.
6. Standards are a form of oppression. Maybe he was mad
that my ban on laptops in class kept him from getting status updates from the
Perez Hilton Facebook fan page while listening to my lectures. Regardless, the
insistence that we all follow rules did not mesh with his otherwise stellar
commitment to equality. Liberals think standards are fine as long as they are
applied to other people. When applied to everyone, the interest in equality is
often replaced by an interest in tolerance.
Oddly enough, I feel sorry for this disgruntled student -
although I’m glad he helped everyone better understand the liberal mindset. But
he should not have had to wait until the end of the semester to express his
hatred. So I’m coming to the rescue with a new plan than will help angry
liberals (please pardon the redundancy) while earning me money for guns,
cigars, guitars, and ammunition.
My plan is pure genius. It’s the new “I Hate Mike Adams”
t-shirt, which will be available in small, medium, large, and extra-large
sizes. This new t-shirt will be sold at all of my speeches under the following
variable pricing scheme:
$12 for conservatives
$15 for liberals
$20 for feminists
$50 for homosexual rights activists
My reasoning for variable pricing is simply that some
groups are angrier than others and will get more benefit from expressing their
hatred. So, naturally, they should have to pay more. If you are a liberal,
feminist, or homosexual activist who is taking one of my courses then feel free
to wear it to class.
The “I Hate Mike Adams” t-shirt will replace the need for
anonymous hate speech on RateMyProfessors.com. Everyone can come out of the
closet at once and start contributing to my early retirement. And that’s a
cause that both Mike Adams and his haters can get behind!
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