By Jonah Goldberg
Wednesday, November 06, 2019
Culturally, Elizabeth Warren is a lot more like Donald
Trump than you might think.
Hold on. I know: Going by their personal lives, their
demeanors, and their ideological agendas, they’re apples and oranges. But
apples and oranges actually have a lot in common: They’re both fruits, they’re
round, and they grow on trees. The most relevant difference boils down to a
matter of taste. And that’s what I am getting at.
One of the best things about partisanship is how it
sharpens our skepticism about the other side. When Trump gives a speech,
liberals are like contestants on Jeopardy!, eager to hit the buzzer the
moment they hear anything that pings their radar for hypocrisy, deceit,
hyperbole, etc.
But the downside of partisanship is that it blinds us to
the fakery of our own side. When the same liberals listen to someone like
Warren, the buzzer gathers dust. In the 2000s, for instance, Saturday Night
Live rarely let a week go by without skewering George W. Bush. When Barack
Obama was president, SNL ignored him almost entirely, save as an excuse to mock
the people who didn’t like him.
“If I had to describe Obama as a comedy project, I would
say . . . it’s like being a rock climber looking up at a thousand-foot-high
face of solid obsidian, polished and oiled,” Jim Downey, the SNL go-to guy for
political humor, once said. “There’s not a single thing to grab onto —
certainly not a flaw or hook that you can caricature.”
Bush then, like Trump now, was an easy target for SNL
writers — and for writers at elite media outlets generally. Warren, however, is
the opposite. Which might explain why SNL’s most recent cold open was nearly a
campaign ad for Warren.
Warren’s catchphrase, “I’ve got a plan for that,” has as
much cultural resonance with her base as Trump’s “Make America Great Again”
does with his, and it’s remarkably similar to Trump’s “I alone can fix it.” It
tickles the intellectual erogenous zones of a certain type of progressive
wildly overrepresented in the upper echelons of the meritocracy. It screams:
“We have all the answers!” and “We know what to do!”
Technocratic liberalism isn’t just an ideological
worldview dating back to Walter Lippmann’s 1914 Drift and Mastery, it’s
a cultural orientation. If you can’t see it, it’s probably because you’re part
of it. Fish don’t know they’re wet, after all.
The media loves to point out the craziness and
impossibility of many of Trump’s promises. He said fixing health care would be
“so easy.” He vowed to eliminate the deficit in eight years. (It’s up nearly 50
percent since he took office). He was going to ban Muslims and make Mexico pay
for the wall. Whether his supporters believed him or not, they liked what these
promises said about his priorities. “Don’t take him literally,” we were
advised, just “take him seriously.”
Warren has played precisely the same game, promising a
slew of absurdities, from an illegal fracking ban to an unconstitutional wealth
tax to a dead-on-arrival Green New Deal.
The problem for Warren is that you can’t say, “Don’t take
her literally.” The whole appeal of her shtick — and it is a shtick, even if
she believes it — is that she does her homework. She’s no reality-TV star
making it up as she goes, she has a plan!
Because she has to stay on brand, Warren felt compelled
to explain how she’d implement single-payer health care without raising taxes
on the middle class. It’s a disaster. She’d nationalize health care,
eliminating private insurance plans (sorry, union voters!) and cutting funding
to hospitals. She’d genie-blink comprehensive immigration reform into
existence. The total cost: $52 trillion over a decade, including $20 trillion
in new federal spending — all to pretend she wouldn’t raise taxes on the middle
class. She would; she just hides it.
Now, our best health-policy wonks are weighing in. It’s
an interesting discussion, but it has as much bearing on real life as a debate
among leading military strategists over the best way for the Klingons to
finally conquer the Romulan Empire.
But let’s say using a lot of policy jargon and accounting
gimmickry wins Warren the nomination and the presidency. What then? It’s
axiomatic that she will fail to achieve what cannot be achieved. Will she admit
that she overpromised, or will the apple lady follow the playbook of the orange
man and blame a rigged system and shadowy evil actors working to deny us our
heart’s desires? The latter is likely, given that such rhetoric is another
thing she has in common with Trump.
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