By Mona Charen
Thursday, October 19, 2017
What makes Harvey Weinsteins?
The chief of Amazon studios, Roy Price, has now resigned
in the wake of allegations that he made lewd comments and propositioned a
producer. Lists of accused sexual predators in Hollywood and journalism are
circulating on social media. President’s Trump’s long history of pawing and
gawking at women has again reached center stage.
Actress Alyssa Milano, one of Weinstein’s targets, fumed
that “this is not an uncommon occurrence. This is a sick culture. Men like
Harvey Weinstein are around every corner. Men who undermine women and their
strength, ability, and intelligence exist everywhere.”
This is a common theme you find in feminist thinking.
Harassment and even sexual assault are seen as part of the spectrum of sexism.
It begins with disparagement of women’s abilities and intelligence, then
progresses to making them sexual objects, and finally results in abuse and even
rape.
The MeToo hashtag and related posts on Facebook are
intended as a feminist rallying cry. The Feministing
website explains that “gender violence doesn’t exist without white supremacy
(such as racism, colonialism, zionism [sic],
militarism).”
That’s hard to beat for dimness. In China, according to a
U.N. study, 23 percent admit to rape. In Papua New Guinea, 61 percent of men
say the same.
What if boorishness isn’t a form of sexism, but merely
bad behavior? Let’s face it, many a flagrant lecher — Bill Clinton anyone? —
has been a stalwart and possibly even sincere feminist. Many a womanizer seeks
absolution for his grubby conduct by ostentatious displays of political
correctness. The louts seem to calculate that they earn gropes for every
contribution to Emily’s List or NOW. Weinstein offered a particularly pathetic
appeal to left-wing sympathies by declaring that he would train even more fire
on the NRA.
Feminism made a critical misstep when it joined forces
with the sexual revolution in the 1970s. Women needed more outlets for their
sexuality, they claimed. Traditional notions about women being more interested
in relationships than in casual encounters were outmoded. In 2014, feminist
Hanna Rosin looked forward, only slightly tongue-in-cheek, to an era when women
would surpass men in sex scandals.
For decades feminists have made abortion the signature
feminist issue — thus signaling that consequence-free sex for men (who don’t
undergo the surgery and heartbreak) was a key goal. Feminists may not have
intended to thereby send the message that they were all in on the sexual
free-for-all, but some men concluded as much nonetheless. Feminists set
themselves a contradictory task — to insist that men and women were
indistinguishable in their sexual tastes and appetites but then to demand that
men respect women’s particular reserve.
It would be healthier for our culture — about which
Alyssa Milano is not wrong — if feminism were more realistic about human
nature. Male sexual aggressiveness has been a challenge every civilization has
had to manage. Among some Orthodox Jews, one answer is to set such strict
limits on contacts between the sexes that men do not even touch women they are
not related to — not even to shake hands. This can lead to other problems when
Orthodox men’s reticence is misunderstood by others, but it isn’t crazy. How
many of us have been hugged a little too long and a little too aggressively by
men taking advantage of the fact that they can get away with it?
I could easily sign on to the #MeToo campaign. Sexual
harassment cost me a summer job in college. But the men = bad, women = good
slogan is a bit too simplistic. I’ve seen my share of women behaving badly too.
Older women very seldom demand sexual favors from younger men (sorry Hanna
Rosin), but I’ve seen young women use sex to get ahead in workplaces, sometimes
targeting other women’s husbands. And I’ve known men of all backgrounds,
religious affiliations, and political views who were perfect gentlemen not
because they were feminists but because they were raised right.
A more realistic approach to sexual misbehavior would be
to acknowledge that the temptation is always there. Most men aren’t predators —
but why make it easier for those who are by pretending that a business meeting
in a hotel room is anything other than wrong? Even in offices, an open door is
a good policy when a man and woman are alone.
Perhaps the slogan we need — for both sexes — is
#BeDecent.
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