By Charles C. W. Cooke
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
About a decade or so ago, the perennially grumpy British
comedian, Jack Dee, started to complain about the fawning language that was
being used to describe the Internet. They call it “the Information
superhighway,” Dee griped. “They call it ‘surfing’ the net. It’s not surfing.
It’s typing in your bedroom.”
This was a thoroughly well deserved putdown — the “they”
in Dee’s sentence referring to an industry that was becoming almost impossibly
self-important, and that has only got worse since. I say this as a techie who
hates techies and as a lover of computers and the Internet who is invariably
appalled by what the promise of new services does to the brains of otherwise
sensible human beings. Spend a few hours in San Francisco or Austin and you
will meet a host of caricatures who appear to have had all everyday words
surgically removed from their brains, a greasy marketing dictionary being
installed in their place. These are the annoyingly earnest types who have taken
the language of the operating system and applied it to their daily lives — the
people who work not in industries but in “spaces.” You don’t chat with them,
you “interface.” You don’t go out for lunch, you “aggregate,” and, if the lunch
plans go “viral,” you hope that the restaurant is “scalable.” In discussions,
you don’t agree with one another, but “express yourself together,” “find a
common voice,” and “converge.” Each and every idea is the product of a
“paradigm” or a “framework.” It’s tiring. Have a photograph you’d like to share
with your parents? That’s an “exciting new possibility for customization.”
Here, nothing is just okay; everything is revolutionary. A phrase you don’t
hear too often in Silicon Valley: “Sure, that’s useful I guess.”
So habitual is the instinct that we have begun to mistake
the medium for the message and the content for its delivery mechanism. The
hashtag, which has in just a few short years been transmuted from an ad hoc
means by which a sea of struggling and oppressed Iranian protesters might collate
their tweets into a dangerous invitation to Groupthink, is venerated
nonetheless as the changer of worlds and the dynamo of insurrection. Whether
abroad or at home, we are obsessed with how many people are talking about a
particular topic, and where the swarm is trending. But we are less interested,
it seems, in what they are saying. Now, mass and frequency are held to be more
important arbiters of importance than is quality. Thus, as Mollie Hemingway
points out, did the mass of abject nonsense that followed the Isla Vista
shooting become widely and reflexively described as “powerful” when it clearly
is no such thing. Thus do hapless and unknown PR executives with a few hundred
followers become the instant subject of worldwide witch-hunts. Thus do semi-literate
attention-seekers believe that their humorless indignation is representative of
social change and not of what happens when you combine scolding self-importance
and a collection of sad and lonely people who are longing for public catharsis.
Hashtags, like most tools, are neutral things. If someone
starts an amusing joke, it can be nice to collect the contributions together in
one place. No doubt, too, it is profitable for those with esoteric ideas to be
able to discover others who share them. But, by and large, the tool primarily
serves as a boon to the mob — as a rallying cry for a pile-on, and an unhealthy
means of assuring that your offerings are directed at people who will back them
up with vigor. Any tweet that has “#tcot” or “#p2” or “#uniteblue” attached to
it is invariably more stupid than one without, in large part because the author
is expecting affirmation and not criticism. That goes double for anything that
is sectarian along non-ideological lines. And, apparently, it goes triple for
any movement that is provoked by tragedy. The most recent example of the
lattermost is the #YesAllWomen hashtag, which appeared in the aftermath of the
weekend’s shooting in California, and featured a cabal of online performance
artists who had not only taken the ramblingly misogynistic manifesto of a very
sick young man at face value but had quickly employed it as a general cudgel
against all men. One tweet, thrust into the universe by Adelaide Kane, claimed
that “Not ALL men harass women. But ALL women have, at some point, been
harassed by men.” This, Kane, suggested, was “Food for thought.” More than
5,000 people evidently agreed, retweeting and favoriting it until it had risen
to the top of the trending lists for all to see. What does one think happened
to anybody who dared to question whether this was, in fact, true? Was Twitter a
virtuous means by which a “dialogue” might be started? Or was it merely a
“framework” within which the Sisters of the Travelling Hashtag could band
together and dismiss as a “rapist” anybody who displayed the temerity to
challenge the hive?
By its nature, the Internet is going to attract extremes.
Drawn in by the unholy combination of ease and distance, the dregs of society
have found a safe home at last — a place in which, protected by a guarantee of
anonymity, they might turn the comments thread under a YouTube video about
covalent bonding into a disquisition on the merits of Nazi Germany. But not
everyone who takes part in a collective is going to be unlovely. On the
contrary: A large number of those who are easily absorbed into the mob are
extremely nice and, outside of the heat of the moment at least, moderate in
temper and happy to engage with their critics. But as television has taught us,
people who would otherwise never dream of contributing to a particular
conversation will do their level best to provide an answer when a microphone is
pushed into their face. Twitter’s little moments do precisely the same thing,
tempting the typically disengaged to pick up pitchforks and rush forward toward
the gates. Hashtag, shmashtag. Surfing, schmurfing. The mob is no less ugly if
we call it “crowdsourcing” instead.
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