By Michael Schaus
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Watching the Sochi Olympic ski-runs melt beneath the feet
of athletes, global warming alarmists have decided to take action. Over 100
Olympic athletes, including 85 Americans, have signed a letter that calls on
the UN to take action against anthropogenic global warming… Because the palm
trees that line the streets of Sochi, Russia, are clearly the result of too
many SUVs on the road, and not the result of typical sub-tropical weather
patterns.
“The once consistent winters that I saw as a young kid
are no more, especially near my home in Vermont,” wrote US cross country skier
Andrew Newell, who penned the Al-Gore-esque letter to the United Nations. Aside
from the fact that Newell is basing his understanding of global weather
patterns off of his 30 years of existence (only a fraction of which he has had
the intellectual awareness to contemplate things such as weather fluctuations),
the letter comes at a time when the US is struggling through one of its worst
winters in decades. Just to put this into context: when Newell was born, the
world was desperately concerned about “global cooling”… And now, as southern
states struggle with an apocalyptic 2 ½ inches of snow, we’re concerned about
global warming. My how things have changed!
“Snow conditions are becoming much more inconsistent,
weather patterns more erratic, and what was once a topic for discussion is now
reality and fact. Our climate is changing and we are losing our winters.”
Newell continued. Somehow I think America’s east coast might disagree as they
struggle their way through the second major snowstorm of the year.
The recently warm weather in one of Russia’s southernmost
cities (yep… It got up to a sweltering 60-some-odd degrees Fahrenheit) has
induced a sense of panic among disciples of Al Gore. Apparently the subtropical
climate of Putin’s choice for the winter games is evidence of a global warming
trend that could soon make cross-country skiing a thing of the past.
“I’m not an environmental science major, I’m not a scientist,
in fact I didn’t even go to college,” Newell admitted. And now that we have
established a firm grasp of the obvious, maybe we should enlighten the 30 year
old skier on a few other universal truths:
Russia has plenty of snow to host the Winter Olympics.
(Of course, the same can’t be said for their infrastructure, competency, or
resolve… But when it comes to snow volume, yeah. They’re set.) Unfortunately,
Sochi is not among the many Russian locales that boast a harsh, intense, or
even mildly cold winter. In fact, the climate around the Black Sea was a
driving concern when Sochi was originally named as the host for the 2014 Winter
Olympics. Heck, had we hosted the games in Michigan this year, they easily
could have been the coldest games on record. But melting snow is what you’re
bound to get when the average winter temperature routinely climbs above 50
degrees Fahrenheit, as it does in Sochi.
Second of all, Al Gore’s crusade against manbearpig
(global warming) has proven to be little more than a vehicle for scammers, con
artists, and politically motivated redistributionists. It’s hardly the
scientifically based theory that it pretends to be. In fact, when judged by
scientific methods, the theory of Anthropogenic Global Warming becomes comical.
Near Antarctica, global warming “scientists” were stranded because they had
failed to account for seasonably cold temperatures and ice build-up.
Remember back in 2008 and 2009 when Al Gore warned that
the entire North Pole would be free of ice during summer months within 5 years?
Well… It’s been five years, and we have seen a 50 percent increase of ice over
last year… Now that I think about it, if Sochi wants more snow before the Games
close, they should just invite Al Gore to the area for a speech on global warming.
After all, his speeches on the matter usually coincide with unseasonably cold
temperatures.
Newell’s anecdotal observation of world weather patterns
and predictably warm Winter Olympic events, certainly don’t prove global
warming. The debate over my Jeep Rubicon’s contribution to extreme weather
aside, what exactly are these 105 Olympians suggesting the UN do about the
weather? (This sounds like a plot twist in a Dr. Who episode: An unaccountable
world organization sets out to command, and control, the world’s weather.
Quick, to the TARDIS!)
Since Al Gore first decided to champion this cause as his
defining one thing has been clear: According to the statists who claim to care
about the environment, only redistribution and big government can possibly slow
the eventual erosion of our planet.
Heck, the UN commissioner on Climate Change even went so
far as to say that only communism offered the world a chance at ending global
warming. Of course, this comment came as quite a surprise to everyone who
remembers the Soviet Union’s abysmal record on environmental issues. And I’m
sure such comments were news to the residents of Beijing, China (where they
recently erected giant television screens to broadcast the sunset because the
smog had made it impossible to catch a glimpse of the sky).
Developed nations, such as the US, has already heavily
invested itself in a regulatory frame work of redistributive, and punitive,
“climate change” initiatives. Obama’s EPA has instituted a cap-and-trade plan
without the hassle of the “trade” portion. They have also fully embraced
cronyism and corporate welfare as they redistribute monies from evil oil and
coal industries, to green energy companies like Solyndra (bankrupt), A123
Systems (bankrupt), and Abound Solar (also bankrupt). Billions in “green energy
funding” has been spent by government agencies after plundering the funds from
productive (and profitable) private companies.
I guess it’s nice to see that these Olympic athletes have
decided to feign a broad sense of concern, but their obligatory worry is
misplaced. The sports that grace the Winter Olympics are not going anywhere. I
mean, heck, even 5th Avenue in NYC was suitable to cross country skiing this
past week. Moreover, asking an unaccountable international body of bureaucrats
to fix anything is like asking Vladimir Putin to build an Olympic city:
Corruption will run rampant and incompetency will prevail.
The letter goes to show that accomplishment does not
always coincide with intelligence. The idea that 105 athletes wrote a letter to
a world organization that supports communism (while they are housed in the
former Soviet Union) to call attention to the warm weather in a sub-tropical
resort community seems created for Merriam Webster’s definition of “irony”.
Especially while the rest of the world deals with “polar vortexes” and record
breaking cold snaps.
Stick to skiing, Newell. Al Gore can fight manbearpig on
his own.
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