By Doug Giles
Sunday, February 03, 2013
Vice President Biden unfurled his genius during a Google+
“fireside” hangout last month stating that having “armed guards in schools
would be a terrible mistake.”
Really, José? Why don’t you rock up to Price Middle
School in Atlanta on Monday morning and bray that insanity to the teachers and
students who were spared an early grave because an armed guard took out the
latest Lanza wannabe before he could waylay his peers?
Oh, I’m sorry. Y’all haven’t heard about the armed guard
taking down a shooter who passed his gun through the metal detectors at an
Atlanta middle school? My bad. I forgot that the Lamestream Media doesn’t
report on commonsense solutions to potential mass murders. It doesn’t fit the
fables they’re trying to foist upon us, ergo they give it dog meat during the
evening “news.” God … I’m so stupid to assume that you had heard about it. I’ll
never learn. Click the link in the second paragraph if you want the lowdown on
this situation, which totally validates the no-duh fact that a gun in the hands
of a good dude stops bad guys before things get ugly. Durrrrrrrrr.
Anyway, back to Biden and his ilk’s brilliance on
combating mass murderers. Biden said that not only do we not need armed guards
in schools and that such a thing would be a mistake, but he also chimed in that
what schools really need is a more robust staff of shrinks to dissuade Scooter,
Jr. from strafing his mates.
Not wanting to be out-Bidened, this week the DHS rolled
out an instructional video that counseled those in a mass-shooting scenario to
…
Number one: Call 911. Okay, this is generally a good
idea. However, bear in mind that the average number of people killed by a mass
murderer by the time the law has finally arrived is about fourteen. The average
number of people killed when an armed civilian is there is 2.5. Thanks, DHS,
for looking out for us. Remember, folks: When seconds count, the police are
minutes away. Yep, the average response time for the police to get to such a
situation is around five minutes … and the average response time of my .357
magnum shooting Hornady’s 125gr. FXT Critical Defense rounds out of my S&W
Airlite is 1,200 feet per second.
Number two: Hide under the desk. Correct me if I’m wrong,
but I believe that the Virginia Tech tool who killed many co-eds shot them
while they cowered under their desks. Cowering under a desk, playing opossum,
is not the way this cowboy wants to be remembered. I think this is what is
called the “Pussification” of the American male.
Number three: Use scissors. Another thing that floored me
in the video was the DHS advising those who are forced to field such a crappy
conundrum to pick up some scissors and confront the culprit. Scissors? Really?
What kind of scissors, Janet? Pinking shears or Floyd the barber’s clippers?
Look, I’m not beyond sticking a pair of scissors into a murderer’s skull if
that’s my only recourse, but I still think a gun would be a better weapon —just
like our president once said while campaigning: “Never bring a knife to a gun
fight.” If the DHS wants to play “Glock, paper, scissors” with my life, I’m
going for Glock every time.
You know the Left yarbles on and on about how precious
our children are and how they want to protect the kids, but they think armed
guards on our campuses is oh, so cave-mannish. Meanwhile, they protect the
president, congressmen, governors, and celebrities; they protect sporting
events, jewelry stores, gold caches, banks, office buildings, factories and
courts with guns, yet they defend our kids with “Gun Free Zone” signs and
recommend teachers use scissors. Pardon my French, parents, but you’re bat crap
crazy and these mass shootings will go on and on if you keep listening to the
asininities of the lunatic Left.
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