Occupy reality, kids

By Marybeth Hicks
Wednesday, October 05, 2011

If you’ve been too busy holding down a job (or two), juggling the demands of a busy family, engaging in community service, and occasionally taking the wife and kids out for a pizza on a Saturday night, you may not have noticed that several thousand protesters have “occupied” Wall Street, Washington DC, and other locations across the United States for the past three weeks or so.

They’re protesting…well…they’re not entirely sure what they’re protesting, but they feel strongly about it. Those involved in “the movement” consider themselves part of “the 99 percent” of people who don’t have the financial resources or political connections of the so-called “one percent,” and thus they have taken to the streets.

They apparently aren’t as bugged by the fact that the “one percent” is paying the largest chunk of income tax, and of the “99 percent” only about 49 percent pays any tax at all. In fact, most of the folks protesting are young people – predominantly students – who wouldn’t know how to address an envelope to the IRS, much less write a paper check to include with a tax return. But someday they’ll have to repay their student loans and they’re already pretty steamed about that.

Loosely organized as it is, Occupy Wall St. does have a website, occupywallst.org, which includes a list of thirteen “demands” that would fulfill “the movement’s” vision of a just society. This is a socialist wish list so thorough and overarching, it lacks only a chicken in every pot and a unicorn in every four-car garage.

I’ll summarize:

Demand one: Restoration of the living wage, ending what they call "Freetrade" …[and by raising] the minimum wage to twenty dollars an hr. (Note: People who have never paid taxes think $20 an hour is a lot of money.)

Demand two: Institute a universal single payer healthcare system. (Note: Hey now. That’s original.)

Demand three: Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment. (Note: Wait…what? The word “wage” means you’re working... Oh forget it.)

Demand four: Free college education. (Note: With straight As for everyone to keep it fair.)

Demand five: Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand. (Note: “fast track.” LOL)

Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (water, sewer, rail, roads and bridges and electrical grid) spending now. (Note: These must be the folks who want those high-speed trains!)

Demand seven: One trillion dollars in ecological restoration…and decommissioning of all of America's nuclear power plants. (Note: It’s like the Austin Powers movies: “one trillllllllion dollars.”)

Demand eight: Racial and gender equal rights amendment. (Note: But only if you’re already born.)

Demand nine: Open borders migration. [a]nyone can travel anywhere to work and live. (Note: And free unicorns to ride there!)

Demand ten: Bring American elections up to international standards of a paper ballot precinct counted and recounted in front of an independent and party observers system. (Note: Hanging chads.)

Demand eleven: Immediate across the board debt forgiveness for all. Debt forgiveness of sovereign debt, commercial loans, home mortgages, home equity loans, credit card debt, student loans and personal loans now! All debt must be stricken from the "Books." World Bank Loans to all Nations, Bank to Bank Debt and all Bonds and Margin Call Debt in the stock market including all Derivatives or Credit Default Swaps, all 65 trillion dollars of them must also be stricken from the "Books." And I don't mean debt that is in default, I mean all debt on the entire planet period. (Note: In other news, Greece fails.)

Demand twelve: Outlaw all credit reporting agencies. (Note: Because of course there’d be no credit to report.)

Demand thirteen: (Paraphrasing) All unions, all the time.

Well, there you have it. This is what it looks like when thousands of young people take to the streets of America, spouting off all those great civics lessons and American political theory they learned in our public schools, not to mention displaying their terrific command of free market economics.

Personally, I can’t read this list and comprehend it. It’s all Greek to me.