Placing Liberals Under a Microscope

By Burt Prelutsky
Monday, April 28, 2008

What makes liberals so endlessly fascinating isn’t just that they manage with a consistency that verges on the miraculous to be wrong on every important issue, but the latitude they extend to their political leaders to lie, cheat and steal.

For instance, has any liberal ever questioned Al Gore’s apocryphal pronouncements about climate change in light of the fact that the man continues to live in a mansion and gad about in private jets? Now, thanks to Mr. Gore, we are having those new, terribly ugly light bulbs shoved down our throats. And if you think dealing with nuclear waste is a headache, just wait until you try to dispose of light bulbs jam-packed with mercury! Frankly, in view of Gore’s success at creating mass hysteria, I, for one, won’t be too surprised if the ecology Nazis next begin demanding that we insulate our homes with asbestos.

Chelsea Clinton, while giving one of her recent speeches for Mother Clinton, was asked whether, like Hillary, she recalled running from gunfire at the Kosovo airfield in 1996. The audience, no doubt filled with true believers, first groaned at the impertinence of anyone daring to question the First Daughter, then rewarded Chelsea with an ovation for saying nothing more than “I was there.”

Now that Chelsea is all of 28, I suppose, like her parents, she is mastering the technique of avoiding direct questions as the all-important first step in carving out a political career. The fact is, by 2016, when Hillary expects to be winding up her second term, her daughter would be 36 and of an age to make a run for the White House herself. Heck, if things pan out, none of the Clintons might ever have to pay rent again.

Let us not overlook that grand old sot of the Democratic party, Ted Kennedy. Although he preaches clean energy from his pulpit in the Senate, nary a liberal called him a hypocrite when he prevented windmills from being erected near his home because they might interfere with his view. Although how much he can really see through the bottom of a shot glass is anybody’s guess.

More recently, oil was dumped from his boat into the nearby bay, but you can’t expect that the guy who was never indicted for dumping a woman in a body of water would be reprimanded over such a trifle. Of course, if he were a Republican, the Boston Globe would call for his resignation and the New York Times would call for his head.

This brings us to Barack Obama. Accused of attending a racist, anti-American church, he first claimed he never heard Rev. Wright make a single blasphemous remark from the pulpit. Then, when he was reminded that he’d been sitting there Sunday after Sunday for 20 years, soaking in the sewage, he made a speech in which he pretty much ignored the specific, hate-filled remarks spewed by his mentor, except to say that he understood where Jeremiah Wright was coming from. Only later did we all find out that the Obamas had dropped over $25,000 in Wright’s collection box last year.

When Trent Lott made a single stupid remark to a bigoted white senator on the occasion of Strom Thurmond’s 100th birthday, Lott was made to walk the plank by the Republicans. But when a black Democrat who, along with his wife, has received every benefit that a guilt-ridden white society has to offer, tells us that he never once spoke up when his surrogate father damned our nation; accused white people of inflicting HIV on black people in order to exterminate the race; and claimed that 9/11 was a case of America’s chickens coming home to roost; the liberals don’t ride him out of the party on a rail. Instead, they insist he gave a great speech and opened an honest dialogue on race.

Frankly, I find the Obama phenomenon a total mystery. He has the most left-wing voting record in the U.S. Senate, but claims he’s the guy who can bring Republicans and Democrats together. In his books and in his church attendance, he proves that he sees everything through a prism of race, but he contends he’s the guy who can unite blacks and whites.

I find it absurd that his entire platform consists of two extremely vague words -- hope and change. That was pretty much the same thing the Democrats promised us before taking control of the House and Senate in 2006.

Well, recently, a friend of mine reminded me that just prior to the 2006 election, consumer confidence was unbelievably high; regular gasoline sold for about $2.25-a-gallon; and the unemployment rate was 4.5%.

Since then, consumer confidence has plummeted; gas now costs about a dollar-and-a-half-a-gallon more; unemployment stands at 5%; American homeowners have seen their home equity drop by over a trillion dollars, with one percent of our homes in foreclosure; and, for good measure, the liberals refuse to eliminate earmarks.

It wasn’t all bad news, though. The Democratic-controlled Congress, no doubt in appreciation for what they regarded as a job very well done, voted to increase their own salaries.

So, I can only assume that the change that Barack Obama longs for is to see the Republicans re-claim the House and Senate. If so, it’s the only thing the man has ever said or done with which I heartily agree.