By Kevin D. Williamson
Friday, October 03, 2025
I used to dislike dress codes, and, in some ways, I still
do. But I have come around a little.
When I was in high school, we had a fairly restrictive
dress code, with a particular emphasis on policing the length of shorts and
skirts, which did not inconvenience me personally inasmuch as I was not much
inclined to wear either but which did cause some discomfort for some of my more
heat-sensitive peers. Our school was a brick building constructed in 1901 and
had no air conditioning, which is a serious thing in Texas. It is serious
enough that a Texas judge recently ruled that
lack of air conditioning in Texas prisons amounted to unconstitutional cruelty.
I will spare you my lecture about the similarities between public-school
architecture and carceral architecture.
This being the late 1980s and early 1990s, there was also
a good deal of Satanic panic in the air that influenced the dress code, and our
local school superintendent caused a bit of a furor by circulating a list of
“occult” symbols for teachers to be on the lookout for—one of which was the
Star of David. That would have been bad enough for the ... I think three
... Jewish families with students in our school, but the cherry on top of the
hot-buffoonery sundae was that the superintendent’s last name was “Moses,”
which was a gift to the editorial cartoonist at my high school newspaper. The
local superintendent went on to be the state education commissioner and the
superintendent of schools in Dallas, enjoying an excellent reputation in both
roles. Perhaps he grew on the job, like his namesake.
Public school students are (as the architecture suggests)
a kind of captive population, which inclines me toward a more liberal approach
to regulating their outfits, but I have come around on dress codes elsewhere. I
lived in Las Vegas for a time, and I can tell you that you will not see Sean
Connery in a dinner jacket at the baccarat table in any of the casinos
there—you will see a lot of board shorts and flip-flops. Casino gambling is
going to be gross one way or the other, but I’d still prefer if it were a
black-tie affair. Similarly: I try to avoid fancy restaurants, but I recently
met a friend for dinner at a nice place where the reservation confirmation came
with a gentle reminder that the establishment maintains and enforces a dress
code. Not much of one, to be sure, but a general prohibition on sweatpants and
that sort of thing. I remember a heat wave in Philadelphia so intense that the
Union League club briefly relaxed its requirement that men wear a tie to lunch,
and I regretted that a little bit, even though I myself probably looked a
little funny with my blue blazer and tie on my motorcycle. (The coat-check
clerk never seemed to know what to do with my helmet.) The WASP-y
septuagenarian gentleman who was my usual host at the Union League knew something
about standards of dress: “It’s always a special occasion when I meet you for
lunch,” he said. “I’m wearing my second-best toupée.” At that time,
Philadelphia nightclubs advertising on the local rap stations made a point of
emphasizing their dress codes: “No sneaks, no Tims,” one put it succinctly,
“Tims” meaning Timberland boots. In the cartoon that goes with my pieces (the
one where I look like the snooty butler in a 1980s comedy), I’m wearing a
tuxedo for a wedding (not mine) at Lake Como, and it just wouldn’t have been
the same if everybody had been dressed like we were tailgating before the
Texas-OU game. On that score, I prefer how they tailgate at the Radnor Hunt,
with women in
fancy bonnets and many guests arriving by carriage—steeplechase isn’t
peewee football.
What matters about a dress code is, at heart, what it is
intended to do.
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who had a short and
undistinguished if perfectly honorable low-level military career before he
became an undistinguished if perfectly anodyne low-level talk-show host,
recently hauled in almost every general and admiral in the U.S. military for a
command performance during which he lectured them about, among other things,
military dress and grooming standards. As
one senior officer remarked after Hegseth’s dorky, strutting performance,
it could have been an email.
Hegseth indulged his pogonophobia in particular:
No more beards, long hair,
superficial individual expression. We’re going to cut our hair, shave our
beards, and adhere to standards. If you want a beard, you can join Special
Forces. If not, then shave. We don't have a military full of Nordic pagans.
Point of fact: We do have a few Nordic pagans in the
military, a fact that has come up from time to time in a different area of
presentational standards: tattoos. Religious tattoos are generally acceptable
(with certain limits, mainly regarding size and placement) under military
rules, but neo-Nazi, racist, and hate-group symbols are not. There’s some
crossover between the benign (if excruciatingly silly) neo-pagan stuff and the
white-power knucklehead stuff. Would-be soldiers can be rejected because of such
tattoos, and soldiers in service can be discharged for regulation-violating
ink. You would think that Hegseth would know this, inasmuch as a great deal of
attention has been paid to his own tattoos—including a Jerusalem cross and the
slogan “Deus vult,” both of which are associated (though not exclusively)
with sundry far-right, racist, fascist, or neo-Nazi movements, as indeed are
many other medieval Christian symbols. The reactionary nutjobs like to imagine
themselves as Teutonic knights
practicing what Hegseth calls the “warrior ethos.” They are, in the main,
dorks.
The United States has had bearded soldiers for a very
long time, including some of our best: Ulysses S. Grant and William Tecumseh
Sherman leap to mind. In World War I, British national Bhagat Singh Thind, who
was studying in the United States at the time, joined the U.S. military to go
and fight the Germans, and did so wearing a beard and turban. He was, as you
might have guessed from his name, a Sikh, and Sikhs have a long and proud
military tradition: Japanese troops trying to invade India via Burma during
World War II ran into a wall of beards and turbans, which were the last things
many of them saw. Naik Nand Singh of the 11th Sikh Regiment, who
never hosted a Fox News program, was a genuine badass who captured a series of
German positions, some of them single-handedly, after being shot in the leg and
the face, and he was awarded the Victoria Cross for his bravery. He was killed
by short-range machine-gun fire in the Indo-Pakistan War, and the Pakistanis,
after parading his corpse through a nearby city—he was a very famous soldier by
that point—disposed of his body in a garbage dump, from which it was never
recovered. Beard or no beard, he would be too good to serve under such a figure
as Pete Hegseth.
I will believe that Hegseth is serious about this stuff
when Hegseth starts acting like he is serious about it. As a few observers have
pointed out, Hegseth’s Beverly Hills, 90210-style sideburns often extend
to a length that would be prohibited under military grooming standards. But
there is another area of dress convention that Hegseth violates in practically
every public appearance, one that is in fact relevant to his current position:
the Flag Code.
The Flag
Code is written into federal law, though there is no penalty for violating
it. It forbids wearing the flag as an article of clothing, a rule Hegseth
routinely flouts with his
dopey flag-lined suits. It specifically forbids using the flag as a
handkerchief, which Hegseth does habitually, tucking it into his chest pocket
as a decorative pocket square—and surely, surely not because doing so
makes it look like he is wearing some kind of military decoration. Hegseth,
Donald Trump, and the members of the movement they represent are habitual
violators of the Flag Code, which is not merely an aesthetic concern.
Part of the point of the Flag Code is the notion that the
flag is not to be treated as though it were merely an item of personal
property. It is not to be used for tawdry, tacky, or self-interested purposes
such as advertising. Hegseth has obvious contempt for rules of this kind, and
Trump has equally obvious contempt for any kind of rule that would put any kind
of limitation on his self-aggrandizement and vanity. You can be sure that if
Hegseth or Trump preferred to wear a beard, then beards would be mandatory in
the military, possibly even for women.
What should be understood is that Hegseth is not a
patriot, and his flag abuse is not a sign of patriotism in any meaningful sense
of the word. What Hegseth has done—and what Trump and his cult have done much
more significantly—is to transmogrify patriotism into a category of identity
politics, just as they have done to Christianity. Patriotism is not a
self-transcending duty to country–it is a self-aggrandizing tribal marker, like
Hegseth’s tattoos. Donald Trump has never had a sincerely Christian impulse in
all his nearly 80 years walking this Earth. As he made clear during his plainly heretical
performance at Charlie Kirk’s memorial service, his religious sensibility,
to the extent that he has one, is pagan, oriented toward glory,
reputation, and earthly things. But he treats Christianity as a kind of badge,
brandishing a Bible from time to time. (He ought to try reading one.) Trump, of
course, has only the pagan vices, and not the pagan virtues: He loves the idea
of manliness and martial heroism, but when his country came calling to ask him
to fight, he showed himself to be a plain sniveling coward, reportedly
paying a doctor to invent a medical condition that kept him from being
drafted—a condition that magically went away, with no treatment, as soon as the
threat of glory had passed.
His tattoos aside, Hegseth has nothing in common with the
crusaders who gave up a great deal—from physical comfort to, in many cases,
their lives—in the service of what they believed to be a Christian mandate.
Hegseth is more of a camp-follower, part of one of those trains of merchants
and prostitutes that long followed armies into battle for self-interested
commercial reasons. His flag displays are a matter of—to borrow Hegseth’s own
words—“superficial individual expression.”
I know something about that.
The allure of delusional self-adoration can be powerful.
When a junior high vice principal made me cut my hair (picture your obedient
correspondent at 15 with a blond Robert
Smith-circa-Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me rats’ nest), I was much
offended. I believed, in the sincerest possible way, that I was a unique, very
special, possibly heroic 15-year-old, one destined for great things, and, above
all, one whose autonomy and personal sense of self had to be respected at all
times, damn the rules. It all seemed incontrovertible at the time. But I am not
in junior high school anymore. Pete Hegseth somehow is. Princeton owes him a
refund.
And his tailor owes him an apology.
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